Who doesn't love more of a good thing. More famous girls I think are just stunning. This time I actually include a character becuase I like her more than her actress
1. Genevieve Pearson- There were some very subtle things about her. About the only things about her that anyone would pick out obviously would be her curves, her red hair, and her glasses, but there was so much of a stronger attraction. I can't rightly explain it, but she's hot
2. Lacey Sturm- Formerly Mosely, she was the lead singer of Flyleaf. I didn't think she was so good looking initially, but she kind of grew on me
Maybe I should rethink my life....I just started out this list with two married women
3. Young Shannon Doherty- If you've seen the past two volumes of this, you already know why this name showed up on here. The black hair and the blue eyes....mmmmm. I can't believe her career has been reduced to education connection commercials. Speaking of those commercials, I was also quite taken with the blue eyed girl who did the jingle in the waitress uniform, but no one on the internet seems to know who she is.
4. Morgan Smith Goodwin- AKA the Wendy's girl. She just gets hotter every commercial she does. I think 3/4 of the reason I'm attracted to her is the personality she portrays...and it gets more interesting every commercial. It's a very cute personality
5. Olivia Wilde- She is gorgeous by herself, but I honestly think that her Tron: Legacy character, Quorra, looks even better...I think it might have been the black wig, but it got my attention.
6. Amy Farrah Fowler- Not so much into Blossom, but I would marry Amy Farrah Fowler. Several people have heard me say this already, most women I know returning the comment with a statement that they would marry Sheldon Lee Cooper
7. Hayley Williams- There was always something about her smile...she's absolutely adorable
8. Meaghan Martin- I just saw Mean Girls 2 the other day. That girl was just amazing. I actually have no idea who she is or if she had been in anything else. I'd assume she was because she had the lead role.
9. Jennifer Stone- I know who she was. She was also in that movie, and she was the weird friend in Wizards of Waverly Place I'm pretty sure (someone wanna confirm this??).
And I'll leave it to that. Time for Hollywood to churn out new hot girls to make up the next list.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Liberalism Versus Conservatism on a Non Political Standpoint
There is a drastically widening gap between the Democratic and Republican political parties. Everyone knows this. As people get angrier and angrier with the other side, values are further varied. But there are words associated with each political party that supposedly describe their standpoints. These terms are Liberal and Conservative. Now, I feel that in the basis of the words, they describe each political party's values accurately. Liberals want to change the world, and loosen the grip, while conservatives want to go back to traditional values. But what does it mean when you take these terms away from politicians and apply them to real sociology?? I've given a lot of thought to this, and I feel I can apply the values of each word, and show where our society has gone in both directions over the last few decades.
A guy named Shawn that I used to work with and I started with this argument a couple years ago one day at lunch. We were arguing about the upcoming Presidential campaign. While we both seemed to agree on which party should be represented in the next President of the United States, he did say one thing that stuck with me, and is the basis for this article. His exact words were "No successful society in history has ever gone from a liberal state to a more conservative state." This is something I have never believed to be true. After all, the formation of Abrahamic religions is testament to a group of people going from living off of basic conscience to having a concrete set of rules and guidelines to live life by. The rules were even etched in stone. To further history on the matter, every time the society of the Nation of Israel started to fall away from these values that were instilled, they were taken from their homes and enslaved by another superpower of the region. Now, I'm not out to make this into a religion lesson by any means. My focus is going to be on American society over the last 70-100 years, but I do feel that this can be used as a reference point. The Renaissance can also be used as a model of a society that became more proper and conservative and succeeded for a very long time. There are also examples of failure. The Soviet Union was in a state of rigid stiffness and modesty, and they failed miserably. Nazi Germany, another example. The people of these nations, however, had no freedom to express themselves as Israel and many nations of Renaissance Europe, and that is a key factor in the success of a modest, conservative society.
Both Liberalism and Conservatism have had an ebb and flow in the recent history of the United States on the society as a whole. Individuals have always had the freedom to choose their own path, and that is a part of what makes this society work, but lets take a look at some of the ways that we've seen the ebb and the flow, and how expectations of the people have been changed over the last 100 or so years.
As I mentioned before in my article on manipulation, the dynamic of the average American family has changed since 1913. Back then a 10th grade education was a very common thing. You most often stayed on the family farm until you were military age, then you served in the army, came home, and chose to continue the agricultural life or join the budding industrial revolution. You married a young woman, bought a house, and started a family. You paid your taxes, retired, and enjoyed your golden years. You never discussed sex outside the home in public, and your kids stayed virgins until they got married. A few luckier kids got to go to college, but it wasn't nearly as common as it is today. This was life up until the 50's. I can, without a doubt say we've become more liberal than this, but as I mentioned, there was an ebb and a flow.
The 50's brought a big change in true American society. the television was beginning to become a commonplace household item, and it was becoming very common for every family to have a car. These two items presented information to become readily available to the people, and gave more of a freedom to family members, especially dating teenagers. While the people on TV were still portrayed as super conservative, often with married couples sleeping in separate beds, teens now had a way to spend time alone with each other, no longer being required to be in one or the other's home, and unsupervised. Most everyone who will be reading this is most likely over the age of 16, and does understand the urges that come with being that age. This drastically began to liberalize society. Many will only point out the fact that it led to more teen pregnancies and the decline of the American family, which it may have. But I do see another side of this. Teens and young adults started learning earlier how to make their own choices about their own bodies and futures. People began to be free to make their own choices outside of expectation, including education and military service. I feel that this led to a slow and steady rise in finishing high school and college attendence.
Now the 60's and 70's, I feel, are the big factor in saying that we have gone back to being more conservative now. As the sexual revolution rose up and drugs ran rampant, we, as a society, became more liberal than we have ever become. The music got louder, drugs got stronger, and the social expectation was for the young people to always partake in this activity. Americans still had the option to make their own choices, but the direction that the majority was moving in was in the liberal direction. Common themes of "all you need is love" and "lets all share everything", plus the weed and the acid and the orgies of the late sixties put America in a state where it couldn't be any more free, and any more liberal. We had essentially hit the wall of one end of the spectrum, and the only thing to do was to turn around and ease our way back.
Now, as I said before, there really isn't an overall direction that society went, whether conservative or liberal, through the 70's, 80's, 90's and 2000's. In many ways we've become more liberal. All women have the right to choose their careers, an idea that would have been absolutely unheard of in the 50's, up through the 70's. Some women have chosen to stay at home and raise a family, but the vast majority are out making a name for themselves. This is a very good thing economically, as it raises the opportunity for our per capita income. Marriage and kids in themselves are an option across the board, not an expectation as they once were. We kept the sexual freedom and the drugs, offering them up as options for the people who wish to partake, and it's still hard to walk through a dormitory without smelling that very familiar smell. Sexual orientation, once seen as the greatest taboo in the world, is now completely open, homosexuality even being encouraged at times. Even clothing has become more and more revealing as time has gone on. But we've also moved some of our collective ideals in a conservative direction. The 80's big business movement, and the 90's small business movements made it more acceptable to be "the man". The information age brought a large amount of people out of the factories and into an office, trading in a uniform for a suit or skirt. And even with our sexual freedom, the vast majority of our society still prefers the path of marriage and family, even if it is a little later in our lives than our parents did it.
All in all, we have come to be more conservative, but we do live in a time period where, when you take the politics out of the words, we are in a very nicely balanced state. We have the choice to be as rigid and traditional as our 30's and 40's counterparts, or be as wild and free as our 60's counterparts. We've chosen a little of both, and it makes our American society a great place to live.
A guy named Shawn that I used to work with and I started with this argument a couple years ago one day at lunch. We were arguing about the upcoming Presidential campaign. While we both seemed to agree on which party should be represented in the next President of the United States, he did say one thing that stuck with me, and is the basis for this article. His exact words were "No successful society in history has ever gone from a liberal state to a more conservative state." This is something I have never believed to be true. After all, the formation of Abrahamic religions is testament to a group of people going from living off of basic conscience to having a concrete set of rules and guidelines to live life by. The rules were even etched in stone. To further history on the matter, every time the society of the Nation of Israel started to fall away from these values that were instilled, they were taken from their homes and enslaved by another superpower of the region. Now, I'm not out to make this into a religion lesson by any means. My focus is going to be on American society over the last 70-100 years, but I do feel that this can be used as a reference point. The Renaissance can also be used as a model of a society that became more proper and conservative and succeeded for a very long time. There are also examples of failure. The Soviet Union was in a state of rigid stiffness and modesty, and they failed miserably. Nazi Germany, another example. The people of these nations, however, had no freedom to express themselves as Israel and many nations of Renaissance Europe, and that is a key factor in the success of a modest, conservative society.
Both Liberalism and Conservatism have had an ebb and flow in the recent history of the United States on the society as a whole. Individuals have always had the freedom to choose their own path, and that is a part of what makes this society work, but lets take a look at some of the ways that we've seen the ebb and the flow, and how expectations of the people have been changed over the last 100 or so years.
As I mentioned before in my article on manipulation, the dynamic of the average American family has changed since 1913. Back then a 10th grade education was a very common thing. You most often stayed on the family farm until you were military age, then you served in the army, came home, and chose to continue the agricultural life or join the budding industrial revolution. You married a young woman, bought a house, and started a family. You paid your taxes, retired, and enjoyed your golden years. You never discussed sex outside the home in public, and your kids stayed virgins until they got married. A few luckier kids got to go to college, but it wasn't nearly as common as it is today. This was life up until the 50's. I can, without a doubt say we've become more liberal than this, but as I mentioned, there was an ebb and a flow.
The 50's brought a big change in true American society. the television was beginning to become a commonplace household item, and it was becoming very common for every family to have a car. These two items presented information to become readily available to the people, and gave more of a freedom to family members, especially dating teenagers. While the people on TV were still portrayed as super conservative, often with married couples sleeping in separate beds, teens now had a way to spend time alone with each other, no longer being required to be in one or the other's home, and unsupervised. Most everyone who will be reading this is most likely over the age of 16, and does understand the urges that come with being that age. This drastically began to liberalize society. Many will only point out the fact that it led to more teen pregnancies and the decline of the American family, which it may have. But I do see another side of this. Teens and young adults started learning earlier how to make their own choices about their own bodies and futures. People began to be free to make their own choices outside of expectation, including education and military service. I feel that this led to a slow and steady rise in finishing high school and college attendence.
Now the 60's and 70's, I feel, are the big factor in saying that we have gone back to being more conservative now. As the sexual revolution rose up and drugs ran rampant, we, as a society, became more liberal than we have ever become. The music got louder, drugs got stronger, and the social expectation was for the young people to always partake in this activity. Americans still had the option to make their own choices, but the direction that the majority was moving in was in the liberal direction. Common themes of "all you need is love" and "lets all share everything", plus the weed and the acid and the orgies of the late sixties put America in a state where it couldn't be any more free, and any more liberal. We had essentially hit the wall of one end of the spectrum, and the only thing to do was to turn around and ease our way back.
Now, as I said before, there really isn't an overall direction that society went, whether conservative or liberal, through the 70's, 80's, 90's and 2000's. In many ways we've become more liberal. All women have the right to choose their careers, an idea that would have been absolutely unheard of in the 50's, up through the 70's. Some women have chosen to stay at home and raise a family, but the vast majority are out making a name for themselves. This is a very good thing economically, as it raises the opportunity for our per capita income. Marriage and kids in themselves are an option across the board, not an expectation as they once were. We kept the sexual freedom and the drugs, offering them up as options for the people who wish to partake, and it's still hard to walk through a dormitory without smelling that very familiar smell. Sexual orientation, once seen as the greatest taboo in the world, is now completely open, homosexuality even being encouraged at times. Even clothing has become more and more revealing as time has gone on. But we've also moved some of our collective ideals in a conservative direction. The 80's big business movement, and the 90's small business movements made it more acceptable to be "the man". The information age brought a large amount of people out of the factories and into an office, trading in a uniform for a suit or skirt. And even with our sexual freedom, the vast majority of our society still prefers the path of marriage and family, even if it is a little later in our lives than our parents did it.
All in all, we have come to be more conservative, but we do live in a time period where, when you take the politics out of the words, we are in a very nicely balanced state. We have the choice to be as rigid and traditional as our 30's and 40's counterparts, or be as wild and free as our 60's counterparts. We've chosen a little of both, and it makes our American society a great place to live.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Rules on Dating 5: Projection Versus Having a Type
This is for you, Jessica
"I can't go after him, he's not my type". "We didn't really click, she just wasn't my type". How often have you actually heard these lines?? I've heard a lot of people (especially girls to a guy) dismiss these lines as a load of crap. I don't particularly buy into that school of thought. I believe that everyone has a type of person he or she is particularly attracted to, and there are many schools of thought as to what influences and determines these characteristics. We will be exploring these a little bit later, but first a question must be posed. How do you know when you've found your "type" instead of just replacing the girl who you lost with someone else who reminds you of her. I, myself, have experienced both in a very big way.
Lets begin by exploring what it means to have a type. Most people have a set of specific, but sometimes very subtle characteristics that attract them almost every time. I will volunteer an experience of my own as an example. During the competition show that recently ended, King of the Nerds on TBS, one of the contestants, Genevieve Pearson, really really got my heart going like you wouldn't believe. Outwardly, she looked very VERY different from anyone I had ever dated or any celebrity I had ever expressed any interest in prior. In spite of this, one night, when my best friend came over while the show was on one night to discuss a different matter, I had glanced over at the TV, and stated "Genevieve makes me feel kind of funny in the pants.". Keeping in mind, that Jason had come over quite a ways into the episode that was aired, and all of the name captions had already passed, so he couldn't have seen any of them, he motioned to the screen and asked "You mean that one??", very quickly and correctly identifying Mrs. Pearson as the object of my affection. He knows me well enough to have noticed the things beyond the obvious. There are usually some pretty obvious reasons behind these obvious and subtle preferences, and when they are pointed out, they make a lot of sense. The most common, most prominent, and probably the most obvious is to take a good look at our old friends, Oedipus and Electra. Like it or not, and like your parents or not, our mothers and fathers, and the people who raised us, for those who didn't happen to have our biological parents with us, are the biggest influences in the world as to who we choose to be intimate with. They are, after all, the first people we imprint on and find comfort with. As disturbing as it is, most of us, in some way, are trying to find someone to replace our mom or dad with, I'm just as guilty of it as anyone else. Another big factor is friends. I'm not talking about your same sex friends who you sit and gossip about your sexual encounters with or your opposite sex friends now. No, the way I see the factors coming out is in the people of the opposite sex you hung out with when you were in grade school and middle school. Similar to the way our parents influenced our choices in mates, the people we hung out with when we were younger of the opposite sex are some of the first of our peers, opposite gender, that we imprinted on. Again, it's the people who first made us feel comfortable. Similarly, these children in our lives helped us develop our personalities and differentiated us from being clones from our parents, personality-wise. They were also there as we discovered our own interests, and many times helped us find them. Lastly, and this happens everywhere, but is more prominent in smaller, closer knit communities, and among people who don't move much growing up, we begin to grow up, and the girls and boys around us who helped us develop personality and find our interests grow up, and develop with us. As we see them in a new light, our hormones raging, and us discovering our sexualities, we continue to be drawn to the people who made us comfortable. Adolescents conflate sexual feelings with the feelings of comfort and familiarity, and associate features like hair color, eye color, race, and body shape with those feelings of comfort, whether the new people they are pursuing possess the certain interests or personality attributes or not.
One other factor that determines a type is the common peer pressure and social expectations. I think this is a little more prevalent in guys over girls, and if any girls want to call me out on that and correct me, you are welcome to. I can't speak for what happens solely between girls. I know that with guys, there is an expectation as to what kind of girl you are supposed to chase. They will make all kinds of jokes if you are going after someone who isn't a certain way, and usually it has to do with weight. Even if you try to justify your interest, you generally get met with more scorn. Recently, I had a small spark of attraction towards a girl in my Foodservice Cost Control class. I mentioned to one of my best friends (who is married to a very slender woman), and described her as "having a little bit of spare tire, but I don't mind it because she does have a perfect ass", he responded to me with "We all know you don't mind a spare tire" fairly scornfully. With women, even if I don't know what the basis of measure is, I do know that there is a level of social expectation among them, as well.
There is one last factor that makes people believe that another person is their "type" when, in fact, I don't believe it has any weight in determining what a type is at all. It's projection, and it generally shows up shortly after another relationship ends. Projection seems to be most common in the rebound phase of a breakup, when the memory is still fresh, you're missing out on what you had, and a lot of times, looking for a replacement. I have a prime example of this from my own life. Disclaimer: looking back on it, in spite of the elements I did use to justify this at the time and a long time after, what I did was, in fact, wrong. I can't go in the past and change it, though. A year and a half ago, as the relationship that I was in was on a serious decline, but before we ended it. To be fair, she did already have another boyfriend I didn't know about yet. I was out on a Tuesday night with my best friend in the world, Jason. We happened upon a couple girls in an empty bar that was closing early. J knew the one, I had never met either, but I was very, VERY strongly attracted to the other. With her short, brown hair, huge greenish/bluish eyes, fair skin tone, ample curves, and shapely behind, along with the fact that I am pretty sure she's part Italian, she was a verifiable clone of the girl I was dating at the time. She had been checking me out a little, too. Her friend, the one that J knows, was the more forward, offering to us that we go out together, a little double date, and gave me her number. While we were out, we sat coupled up. J and his friend on one side of the table and the lovely lady and myself at the other. Any chance that the object of my affection and I had to split off from the group and be alone for a few moments, we took, and seemed to be encouraged by our friends. I was falling fast, but I look back now and feel like it may have only been projection. I projected my feelings for my failed relationship onto another girl who was visibly near identical to my girlfriend. This factor has a lot of grey area, and can be open to interpretation. A plausible defense could be opened up saying that your significant other or former significant other would most likely fall into the category of your "type" and therefore, you have simply found someone else who is your type. My rebuttal, and final thought on this topic is this. When you've found someone who is your type, it's someone who is similar to you, and someone who will grow and develop with you at a pace you are comfortable with. Sometimes its fast, sometimes it takes years, but that is the preference of the people who are involved. Because projection often comes close to the end of a relationship, the subconscious is so eager to pick up the pieces and start right where the object of projection left off, that these feelings come on strongly and quickly, are mostly rooted in denial, and are almost always temporary.
As for how that night ended, that is between Jason, the two lovely ladies, and I. I shared enough to make my point, and that is all the further I will go, publically, to respect the honor of the one I admired.
"I can't go after him, he's not my type". "We didn't really click, she just wasn't my type". How often have you actually heard these lines?? I've heard a lot of people (especially girls to a guy) dismiss these lines as a load of crap. I don't particularly buy into that school of thought. I believe that everyone has a type of person he or she is particularly attracted to, and there are many schools of thought as to what influences and determines these characteristics. We will be exploring these a little bit later, but first a question must be posed. How do you know when you've found your "type" instead of just replacing the girl who you lost with someone else who reminds you of her. I, myself, have experienced both in a very big way.
Lets begin by exploring what it means to have a type. Most people have a set of specific, but sometimes very subtle characteristics that attract them almost every time. I will volunteer an experience of my own as an example. During the competition show that recently ended, King of the Nerds on TBS, one of the contestants, Genevieve Pearson, really really got my heart going like you wouldn't believe. Outwardly, she looked very VERY different from anyone I had ever dated or any celebrity I had ever expressed any interest in prior. In spite of this, one night, when my best friend came over while the show was on one night to discuss a different matter, I had glanced over at the TV, and stated "Genevieve makes me feel kind of funny in the pants.". Keeping in mind, that Jason had come over quite a ways into the episode that was aired, and all of the name captions had already passed, so he couldn't have seen any of them, he motioned to the screen and asked "You mean that one??", very quickly and correctly identifying Mrs. Pearson as the object of my affection. He knows me well enough to have noticed the things beyond the obvious. There are usually some pretty obvious reasons behind these obvious and subtle preferences, and when they are pointed out, they make a lot of sense. The most common, most prominent, and probably the most obvious is to take a good look at our old friends, Oedipus and Electra. Like it or not, and like your parents or not, our mothers and fathers, and the people who raised us, for those who didn't happen to have our biological parents with us, are the biggest influences in the world as to who we choose to be intimate with. They are, after all, the first people we imprint on and find comfort with. As disturbing as it is, most of us, in some way, are trying to find someone to replace our mom or dad with, I'm just as guilty of it as anyone else. Another big factor is friends. I'm not talking about your same sex friends who you sit and gossip about your sexual encounters with or your opposite sex friends now. No, the way I see the factors coming out is in the people of the opposite sex you hung out with when you were in grade school and middle school. Similar to the way our parents influenced our choices in mates, the people we hung out with when we were younger of the opposite sex are some of the first of our peers, opposite gender, that we imprinted on. Again, it's the people who first made us feel comfortable. Similarly, these children in our lives helped us develop our personalities and differentiated us from being clones from our parents, personality-wise. They were also there as we discovered our own interests, and many times helped us find them. Lastly, and this happens everywhere, but is more prominent in smaller, closer knit communities, and among people who don't move much growing up, we begin to grow up, and the girls and boys around us who helped us develop personality and find our interests grow up, and develop with us. As we see them in a new light, our hormones raging, and us discovering our sexualities, we continue to be drawn to the people who made us comfortable. Adolescents conflate sexual feelings with the feelings of comfort and familiarity, and associate features like hair color, eye color, race, and body shape with those feelings of comfort, whether the new people they are pursuing possess the certain interests or personality attributes or not.
One other factor that determines a type is the common peer pressure and social expectations. I think this is a little more prevalent in guys over girls, and if any girls want to call me out on that and correct me, you are welcome to. I can't speak for what happens solely between girls. I know that with guys, there is an expectation as to what kind of girl you are supposed to chase. They will make all kinds of jokes if you are going after someone who isn't a certain way, and usually it has to do with weight. Even if you try to justify your interest, you generally get met with more scorn. Recently, I had a small spark of attraction towards a girl in my Foodservice Cost Control class. I mentioned to one of my best friends (who is married to a very slender woman), and described her as "having a little bit of spare tire, but I don't mind it because she does have a perfect ass", he responded to me with "We all know you don't mind a spare tire" fairly scornfully. With women, even if I don't know what the basis of measure is, I do know that there is a level of social expectation among them, as well.
There is one last factor that makes people believe that another person is their "type" when, in fact, I don't believe it has any weight in determining what a type is at all. It's projection, and it generally shows up shortly after another relationship ends. Projection seems to be most common in the rebound phase of a breakup, when the memory is still fresh, you're missing out on what you had, and a lot of times, looking for a replacement. I have a prime example of this from my own life. Disclaimer: looking back on it, in spite of the elements I did use to justify this at the time and a long time after, what I did was, in fact, wrong. I can't go in the past and change it, though. A year and a half ago, as the relationship that I was in was on a serious decline, but before we ended it. To be fair, she did already have another boyfriend I didn't know about yet. I was out on a Tuesday night with my best friend in the world, Jason. We happened upon a couple girls in an empty bar that was closing early. J knew the one, I had never met either, but I was very, VERY strongly attracted to the other. With her short, brown hair, huge greenish/bluish eyes, fair skin tone, ample curves, and shapely behind, along with the fact that I am pretty sure she's part Italian, she was a verifiable clone of the girl I was dating at the time. She had been checking me out a little, too. Her friend, the one that J knows, was the more forward, offering to us that we go out together, a little double date, and gave me her number. While we were out, we sat coupled up. J and his friend on one side of the table and the lovely lady and myself at the other. Any chance that the object of my affection and I had to split off from the group and be alone for a few moments, we took, and seemed to be encouraged by our friends. I was falling fast, but I look back now and feel like it may have only been projection. I projected my feelings for my failed relationship onto another girl who was visibly near identical to my girlfriend. This factor has a lot of grey area, and can be open to interpretation. A plausible defense could be opened up saying that your significant other or former significant other would most likely fall into the category of your "type" and therefore, you have simply found someone else who is your type. My rebuttal, and final thought on this topic is this. When you've found someone who is your type, it's someone who is similar to you, and someone who will grow and develop with you at a pace you are comfortable with. Sometimes its fast, sometimes it takes years, but that is the preference of the people who are involved. Because projection often comes close to the end of a relationship, the subconscious is so eager to pick up the pieces and start right where the object of projection left off, that these feelings come on strongly and quickly, are mostly rooted in denial, and are almost always temporary.
As for how that night ended, that is between Jason, the two lovely ladies, and I. I shared enough to make my point, and that is all the further I will go, publically, to respect the honor of the one I admired.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The Post-Archive Introduction
Now that I have archived everything from my old blog hosting site to here and given myself a very very wide new audience to read and be educated, it's time to do some new stuff and introduce myself and my brand new blog. My name is J. Edgar. I am currently a truck technician looking to leave the field and open a restaurant, after I finish culinary school. At the time this article is written, I'm currently enrolled in my second semester of culinary school, and doing wonderfully. I also have three jobs. What you have stumbled upon is a collection of sociological observations, along with other things that I enjoy very much. I watch things, especially things like failing and failed relationships, and the advice that I want to scream at the people who won't listen just builds up in my head and frustrates me severely, and this is an outlet for me to inform anyone who WILL listen. Although I don't have a degree in Analytical Psychology or Sociology, I do have open eyes, open ears, and an eidetic memory. So please, take some time, see the world through my eyes, and learn from my observations and experiences. And if you like what you've read, this blog has a fan page. Take the time, like my fan page, and leave comments on here, because my readers shape what is to come in my later articles.
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Monday, March 18, 2013
The Sharpay Effect
This blog entry is dedicated to Jenny the Sunnyside bar fly. That cold bitchy look in your eyes is the inspiration for this.
In the great song by the Eagles, "Desperado", Don Henley gives the slow line "but you only want the ones you can't get". I noticed an interesting feeling in the bar that seems to really relate to this. People tend to chase the people that are out of reach. The people who are out of their leagues. The shiny apple at the top of the tree if you will. The appeal leads to superiority and inferiority complexes, and an effect that I've noticed in women for years, but have finally seen in a way that I can figure out and analyze and explain.
Now before we look at what I call the Sharpay Effect, there's another effect that I noticed a while back. I call it the "Hot Girl Complex". I'll explain. The more stuck up of very attractive girls get a lot of attention. They claim that some of it is unwanted, so when a guy that they don't necessarily want starts noticeably paying attention to them, they act angry, sometimes getting to the point of confronting the gentleman who is paying her mind. But the thing that pushes these types of girls further is coming to find out that the guy that they think is beneath them doesn't find them attractive. I first noticed this about 6 years ago when I worked at a local grocery store. This was back before I became awesome, when I had long hair and dressed like I was allergic to quality fabrics. One of the new cashiers at the time was constantly showing up at the time clock right around the time that I was. One day, while I was working, my friend Shandra approached me and told me that this girl (her name escapes me right now) was angry because I kept checking her out (she said angry, not upset). I kindly took her aside and explained to her this fact. Honestly, as hot as this little girl's little body was, her face completely ruined it for me. The blond little corkscrews in her shoulder length hair just didn't do it for me at all, and her face kinda made me think of a parakeet every time. So my friend explained to her that I didn't think she was attractive at all. She didn't say the parakeet thing, because I knew better than to say that to her in a grocery store environment. Any intimate secrets being in the open are just asking for trouble. Anyhow, after that, this girl always had the dirtiest, nastiest look in her eyes toward me, wouldn't take me as a customer when I went up front to get something to eat or drink, and wouldn't let me get her anything from the deli, where I was working. This is not the last time this has happened to me, either. Come to think if it, it wasn't the first time. It actually really is a sad sad situation when a girl is so desperate for male attention that she gets pissed off when a guy she doesn't like doesn't think she's hot. But even worse than that is the "I deserve everyone's attention" attitude that this article was written for.
There are certain girls out there, fewer actually than a person may think, who have essentially been given quite a bit, whether it be attention, worldly possessions, or her "way". Being spoiled doesn't automatically mean getting everything, just always getting what you want in a certain way. It's a hard concept to explain. A person can be spoiled with his or her way without getting any sort of worldly possessions, like a child who's siblings are forced to work constantly while he sits at home and plays video games and is never expected to get any sort of job even long into adulthood. This child isn't getting whatever he wants, and isn't whiny or snarky, just lazy, and yet still spoiled. Another example is the girl with the nice body who thrives on attention, and gets it. Her daddy didn't go out and buy her a car or any expensive trips or shopping sprees, but everywhere she goes every eye is on her, and that is, to her, psych0ligically, the ultimate goal. It is this type of spoiled that brings us to the meat of this article.
I see this second type of spoiled weekly at the bar that I go to regularly. A girl who comes in regularly exhibits it well. Now, I don't know her personally, so all I can do is speculate, but I do know my gender, and I can tell you outrightly that with the body on this girl, she turns heads everywhere she goes, and she knows it. Her face is ok, but her body is spectacular, and when I say face is ok, I mean I actually normally would never ever think to ask her out unless I had a few, but there is more than that. Much the same is her attitude to that of the character who lent her name to the title of this article. In the High School Musical franchise, Sharpay is a character who believes herself to deserve everything that she desires. "I want fabulous" is the quote that sticks out. In the literature, she is a cutthroat character who will make life a living hell for anyone who stands in the way of her getting whatever she wants because it's supposedly a birthright to her, and the opposing side of being sweet as sugar to anyone who enables her the things she desires forms into a certain kind of attitude that outwardly emanates from her in her walk, and her talk. Much the same way, this regular patron has an attitude just pouring off of her. Everytime I look at her eyes, I can almost hear her saying "I'm too good for you, I'm too good for anyone, but damnit, if you don't want me anyway there is gonna be hell to pay". I've also noticed that when she's getting attention from guys, she's calmer, more personable, and generally happier, but in the empty bar situation, or when she's not getting checked out, she tends to be cold, distanced, and even prone to snapping over the littlest things.
Now to close, we'll roll all this into the actual effect that's attached to it. While I already find Ashley Tisdale attractive, my heart races when I see her throwing her Sharpay attitude around. Seeing the determination and the attitude in her eyes and hearing it in her voice is just plain hot. In just the same way, as I mentioned before, I normally wouldn't be even interested in this girl who inspired me to write this, but once I see the attitude, she's irresistable. The Sharpay Effect, a spoiled attitude that makes a person seem unapproachable also makes them more and more attractive. You only want the ones that you can't get.
J. Edgar
In the great song by the Eagles, "Desperado", Don Henley gives the slow line "but you only want the ones you can't get". I noticed an interesting feeling in the bar that seems to really relate to this. People tend to chase the people that are out of reach. The people who are out of their leagues. The shiny apple at the top of the tree if you will. The appeal leads to superiority and inferiority complexes, and an effect that I've noticed in women for years, but have finally seen in a way that I can figure out and analyze and explain.
Now before we look at what I call the Sharpay Effect, there's another effect that I noticed a while back. I call it the "Hot Girl Complex". I'll explain. The more stuck up of very attractive girls get a lot of attention. They claim that some of it is unwanted, so when a guy that they don't necessarily want starts noticeably paying attention to them, they act angry, sometimes getting to the point of confronting the gentleman who is paying her mind. But the thing that pushes these types of girls further is coming to find out that the guy that they think is beneath them doesn't find them attractive. I first noticed this about 6 years ago when I worked at a local grocery store. This was back before I became awesome, when I had long hair and dressed like I was allergic to quality fabrics. One of the new cashiers at the time was constantly showing up at the time clock right around the time that I was. One day, while I was working, my friend Shandra approached me and told me that this girl (her name escapes me right now) was angry because I kept checking her out (she said angry, not upset). I kindly took her aside and explained to her this fact. Honestly, as hot as this little girl's little body was, her face completely ruined it for me. The blond little corkscrews in her shoulder length hair just didn't do it for me at all, and her face kinda made me think of a parakeet every time. So my friend explained to her that I didn't think she was attractive at all. She didn't say the parakeet thing, because I knew better than to say that to her in a grocery store environment. Any intimate secrets being in the open are just asking for trouble. Anyhow, after that, this girl always had the dirtiest, nastiest look in her eyes toward me, wouldn't take me as a customer when I went up front to get something to eat or drink, and wouldn't let me get her anything from the deli, where I was working. This is not the last time this has happened to me, either. Come to think if it, it wasn't the first time. It actually really is a sad sad situation when a girl is so desperate for male attention that she gets pissed off when a guy she doesn't like doesn't think she's hot. But even worse than that is the "I deserve everyone's attention" attitude that this article was written for.
There are certain girls out there, fewer actually than a person may think, who have essentially been given quite a bit, whether it be attention, worldly possessions, or her "way". Being spoiled doesn't automatically mean getting everything, just always getting what you want in a certain way. It's a hard concept to explain. A person can be spoiled with his or her way without getting any sort of worldly possessions, like a child who's siblings are forced to work constantly while he sits at home and plays video games and is never expected to get any sort of job even long into adulthood. This child isn't getting whatever he wants, and isn't whiny or snarky, just lazy, and yet still spoiled. Another example is the girl with the nice body who thrives on attention, and gets it. Her daddy didn't go out and buy her a car or any expensive trips or shopping sprees, but everywhere she goes every eye is on her, and that is, to her, psych0ligically, the ultimate goal. It is this type of spoiled that brings us to the meat of this article.
I see this second type of spoiled weekly at the bar that I go to regularly. A girl who comes in regularly exhibits it well. Now, I don't know her personally, so all I can do is speculate, but I do know my gender, and I can tell you outrightly that with the body on this girl, she turns heads everywhere she goes, and she knows it. Her face is ok, but her body is spectacular, and when I say face is ok, I mean I actually normally would never ever think to ask her out unless I had a few, but there is more than that. Much the same is her attitude to that of the character who lent her name to the title of this article. In the High School Musical franchise, Sharpay is a character who believes herself to deserve everything that she desires. "I want fabulous" is the quote that sticks out. In the literature, she is a cutthroat character who will make life a living hell for anyone who stands in the way of her getting whatever she wants because it's supposedly a birthright to her, and the opposing side of being sweet as sugar to anyone who enables her the things she desires forms into a certain kind of attitude that outwardly emanates from her in her walk, and her talk. Much the same way, this regular patron has an attitude just pouring off of her. Everytime I look at her eyes, I can almost hear her saying "I'm too good for you, I'm too good for anyone, but damnit, if you don't want me anyway there is gonna be hell to pay". I've also noticed that when she's getting attention from guys, she's calmer, more personable, and generally happier, but in the empty bar situation, or when she's not getting checked out, she tends to be cold, distanced, and even prone to snapping over the littlest things.
Now to close, we'll roll all this into the actual effect that's attached to it. While I already find Ashley Tisdale attractive, my heart races when I see her throwing her Sharpay attitude around. Seeing the determination and the attitude in her eyes and hearing it in her voice is just plain hot. In just the same way, as I mentioned before, I normally wouldn't be even interested in this girl who inspired me to write this, but once I see the attitude, she's irresistable. The Sharpay Effect, a spoiled attitude that makes a person seem unapproachable also makes them more and more attractive. You only want the ones that you can't get.
J. Edgar
Rules on Dating 4: Manipulation; A True Battle of the Sexes
We've come to a point in history where a marriage has a better chance
of ending in a courtroom than a cemetery. Relationships come and go
faster than they ever have. The time when a date was the gateway to a
lifelong relationship, and generally pre-arranged by family, friends, or
simply location, has evolved into the time when a date goes into
something that only lasts until one or both parties get what they want,
whether physical, financial, or sociological. I am not innocent to this
either. It's societal. People are expected to behave a certain way,
but why?? Let's explore this...
Our modern society is awash in breakups and divorces, and one of the most common reasons people give when they are asked about their breakups is "He/She was just using me." Both genders use this reason, and both genders have a reason to use it. Men and women are both crafty in getting what they want out of a relationship, but what is it that they want?? To start with, let's look at society. Our society has opened the doors for women over the last 40 years. Looking back at TV and movies from the 50's, 60's, and even the 70's, what do we always see?? A patriarchal society where the man goes to work and the wife stays as the home maker. From what I've heard of accounts of this time period, this isn't far off, either. Women of this time got married essentially to survive. Love came much easier and with less pickiness as it does today, and a divorce meant being used up goods, a spinster reputation, and little to no options for life. Job categories were limited to just a few options. A societal shift among teens in the 70's led women to have tons more freedom and life options other than getting married through the 80's on to today. This led to older marriages, and women becoming more independent, not needing a man in her life to go to work every day to survive, and led to a the great equality that we enjoy today.
Now most of us already know all this, but how does this relate to manipulation?? As women grew to equality, and needed men less and less, their options became broader. If the man that asked her out did not suit her needs or changed in a way that no longer pleases her, she can get up and move on to the next option. This phenomenon completely changed the dynamic of dating for both genders, and led to the enormous amounts of breakups and divorces previously mentioned. And also led to a wide variety of games, tricks, and evil moves to get both dates and get out of relationships. Both sides are guilty, but there are massively different reasons, mostly engraved deep in our human psychology
Now, I don't have a psych degree. I'm a mechanic, and a lawn care/snow removal specialist. Everything in all of my blog entries is strictly observation, and has no medical background to it. That being said, let's delve into the things I've observed about human courtship. Now, men and women both have needs from the other, but both are very different. In courtship, men are generally driven by a desire for sex, while women are generally driven by a need to feel attractive. What makes this work is how each gender, by seeking their needs, offers the opposite need in turn. An interesting side note to this is that I have observed that our courtship needs are more about what's offered than what's needed. While all relationships are about give and take and caring, I've noticed that gay relationship tend to be less sexually charged, and gay men tend to be more conscious of their appearances and attractiveness, and lesbian relationship, whether real, or a show to attract men at a college party, tend to be a little more sexually charged. This small observation opened the door for one of the biggest observations I've noted about human courtship. To put it harshly, when it comes to sex, men have to impress the women, flowers, drinks, dinners, smooth talk, and women simply have to be available. Harsh as it is, it illustrates the first observation I made. A woman who puts herself out there can feel attractive when held in passion, and not in planning. She got a complete stranger to fall enough in love with her to want her, and a guy got laid. The opposite side of this is the classic adage that I've seen on women's t-shirts, keychains, and bumper stickers. "Men are like wood floors, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for life". Women know they can use sex, being a driving force to men, to entice companionship, and to keep their partner around.
Now, this shows the driving force that holds relationships together, but where does manipulation come into play on this. Simply put, it's when dating turns from a sociological ideal to a game. Manipulation mostly comes in two phases of a relationship. The first is during attraction. Women and men go to outrageous lengths to attract the opposite sex. Perfumes, colognes, alcohol, clothes, a myriad of other tools and games, all leading to one specific purpose. For the unclaimed (and occasionally the claimed) to attract the attention of a mate, if only for a night. Women dress as scantily as possible, sometimes wearing clothes out that are practically lingerie, to project themselves as available. They will also dance wildly and act drunker than they may actually be, projecting themselves as more approachable. Some women will even go as far as to make out with a female friend in public place to charge the sexual urges of the men around. Men on the other hand, will dress in high end clothes, wear expensive clothes and accessories, and wear hairstyles that are excessively done up to project richness and the ability to take care of a woman long term, whether true or not. In conversation men in the attraction state also pretend to listen and buy meals and drinks, giving the image of a caring man who is attracted to the woman mind and body, and project the stereotype of the breadwinner. While this is a tired old stereotype that is becoming less and less true, as I mentioned before, it's still deeply etched in the societal collective mind of humans, and still seemingly important in attracting a mate. These series of acts and stories may not accurately reflect the people who are projecting them, but the werewolf effect attracts mates every day, and many one night stands lead into relationships, some that last for years before the boredom sets in and the second form of manipulation starts to set in.
The second form of manipulation is the dangerous part, when the relationship starts. When people manipulate to get into a relationship, it's generally purpose driven, and that comes back to the argument of illiciting attraction or sex, and both genders play dangerous games to get their goals, and continue to hold on to them. Men tend to play yo-yo with attraction. What I mean by this is that a man will give attracted attention to a woman initially, then retract the attention for an indefinite amount of time, even sometimes going as far as mild insult, and in severe cases, the retraction goes as far as abuse. Whatever the degree, the reason is always the same, so that a small display of affection will seem like an earth shattering romantic gesture, and entice them into a sexual mood. Then afterwards will go back to a state of retracted attraction. Women on the other hand, seeking the feeling of attraction, will tend to lead or force their men to prove their attraction in various manners. This varies far in degree. Some women will stand in a mirror and judge themselves vocally in front of their men, waiting for them to disagree and express the attraction. In other cases they will attempt to push the relationship in a further direction. This phenomenon is discussed as the marriage fix in a previous article. Most women will try to initiate sex as a measure of attraction. Finally, a few more self conscious women have been known to move to deadly measures, convincing a man that she can't be with him in hopes that he will harm or kill himself as a grand gesture to show how attracted he is.
Now, there is no real solution to this dangerous game. Awareness is essentially key. Seeing the unhealthy signs and backing out before a person gets hurt or emotionally damaged is the only aid to this. And as simply as the increasing equality of men and women is what slowly led to this war, it can also be the treaty that ends it. If a relationship isn't working, or is damaging, both men and women have options, and can move on and find someone who is truly suited for them, not someone who had to put on an act to get there.
J. Edgar Davis
Our modern society is awash in breakups and divorces, and one of the most common reasons people give when they are asked about their breakups is "He/She was just using me." Both genders use this reason, and both genders have a reason to use it. Men and women are both crafty in getting what they want out of a relationship, but what is it that they want?? To start with, let's look at society. Our society has opened the doors for women over the last 40 years. Looking back at TV and movies from the 50's, 60's, and even the 70's, what do we always see?? A patriarchal society where the man goes to work and the wife stays as the home maker. From what I've heard of accounts of this time period, this isn't far off, either. Women of this time got married essentially to survive. Love came much easier and with less pickiness as it does today, and a divorce meant being used up goods, a spinster reputation, and little to no options for life. Job categories were limited to just a few options. A societal shift among teens in the 70's led women to have tons more freedom and life options other than getting married through the 80's on to today. This led to older marriages, and women becoming more independent, not needing a man in her life to go to work every day to survive, and led to a the great equality that we enjoy today.
Now most of us already know all this, but how does this relate to manipulation?? As women grew to equality, and needed men less and less, their options became broader. If the man that asked her out did not suit her needs or changed in a way that no longer pleases her, she can get up and move on to the next option. This phenomenon completely changed the dynamic of dating for both genders, and led to the enormous amounts of breakups and divorces previously mentioned. And also led to a wide variety of games, tricks, and evil moves to get both dates and get out of relationships. Both sides are guilty, but there are massively different reasons, mostly engraved deep in our human psychology
Now, I don't have a psych degree. I'm a mechanic, and a lawn care/snow removal specialist. Everything in all of my blog entries is strictly observation, and has no medical background to it. That being said, let's delve into the things I've observed about human courtship. Now, men and women both have needs from the other, but both are very different. In courtship, men are generally driven by a desire for sex, while women are generally driven by a need to feel attractive. What makes this work is how each gender, by seeking their needs, offers the opposite need in turn. An interesting side note to this is that I have observed that our courtship needs are more about what's offered than what's needed. While all relationships are about give and take and caring, I've noticed that gay relationship tend to be less sexually charged, and gay men tend to be more conscious of their appearances and attractiveness, and lesbian relationship, whether real, or a show to attract men at a college party, tend to be a little more sexually charged. This small observation opened the door for one of the biggest observations I've noted about human courtship. To put it harshly, when it comes to sex, men have to impress the women, flowers, drinks, dinners, smooth talk, and women simply have to be available. Harsh as it is, it illustrates the first observation I made. A woman who puts herself out there can feel attractive when held in passion, and not in planning. She got a complete stranger to fall enough in love with her to want her, and a guy got laid. The opposite side of this is the classic adage that I've seen on women's t-shirts, keychains, and bumper stickers. "Men are like wood floors, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for life". Women know they can use sex, being a driving force to men, to entice companionship, and to keep their partner around.
Now, this shows the driving force that holds relationships together, but where does manipulation come into play on this. Simply put, it's when dating turns from a sociological ideal to a game. Manipulation mostly comes in two phases of a relationship. The first is during attraction. Women and men go to outrageous lengths to attract the opposite sex. Perfumes, colognes, alcohol, clothes, a myriad of other tools and games, all leading to one specific purpose. For the unclaimed (and occasionally the claimed) to attract the attention of a mate, if only for a night. Women dress as scantily as possible, sometimes wearing clothes out that are practically lingerie, to project themselves as available. They will also dance wildly and act drunker than they may actually be, projecting themselves as more approachable. Some women will even go as far as to make out with a female friend in public place to charge the sexual urges of the men around. Men on the other hand, will dress in high end clothes, wear expensive clothes and accessories, and wear hairstyles that are excessively done up to project richness and the ability to take care of a woman long term, whether true or not. In conversation men in the attraction state also pretend to listen and buy meals and drinks, giving the image of a caring man who is attracted to the woman mind and body, and project the stereotype of the breadwinner. While this is a tired old stereotype that is becoming less and less true, as I mentioned before, it's still deeply etched in the societal collective mind of humans, and still seemingly important in attracting a mate. These series of acts and stories may not accurately reflect the people who are projecting them, but the werewolf effect attracts mates every day, and many one night stands lead into relationships, some that last for years before the boredom sets in and the second form of manipulation starts to set in.
The second form of manipulation is the dangerous part, when the relationship starts. When people manipulate to get into a relationship, it's generally purpose driven, and that comes back to the argument of illiciting attraction or sex, and both genders play dangerous games to get their goals, and continue to hold on to them. Men tend to play yo-yo with attraction. What I mean by this is that a man will give attracted attention to a woman initially, then retract the attention for an indefinite amount of time, even sometimes going as far as mild insult, and in severe cases, the retraction goes as far as abuse. Whatever the degree, the reason is always the same, so that a small display of affection will seem like an earth shattering romantic gesture, and entice them into a sexual mood. Then afterwards will go back to a state of retracted attraction. Women on the other hand, seeking the feeling of attraction, will tend to lead or force their men to prove their attraction in various manners. This varies far in degree. Some women will stand in a mirror and judge themselves vocally in front of their men, waiting for them to disagree and express the attraction. In other cases they will attempt to push the relationship in a further direction. This phenomenon is discussed as the marriage fix in a previous article. Most women will try to initiate sex as a measure of attraction. Finally, a few more self conscious women have been known to move to deadly measures, convincing a man that she can't be with him in hopes that he will harm or kill himself as a grand gesture to show how attracted he is.
Now, there is no real solution to this dangerous game. Awareness is essentially key. Seeing the unhealthy signs and backing out before a person gets hurt or emotionally damaged is the only aid to this. And as simply as the increasing equality of men and women is what slowly led to this war, it can also be the treaty that ends it. If a relationship isn't working, or is damaging, both men and women have options, and can move on and find someone who is truly suited for them, not someone who had to put on an act to get there.
J. Edgar Davis
Don't take your home to work with you
The classic adage is "don't take your work home with you", and that's
a wonderful philosophy to live by. You don't want to come running home
and take the stress from work out on your significant other, the
apartment you rent, the car you built or your pet. The message is clear
and concise, and important. "Leave the stress of your job at your
job", and "check your problems at the time clock" are also classic
adages that convey the same message. But what happens in the other
direction.
People don't ever think the other direction. Don't take your home to work with you. What does this mean?? Over the last two weeks I've had everything in my social/personal life just fall apart. A recent ex tried to contact me on monday, a friend's mother passed away on thursday, snow on friday, my buddy getting arrested and spending a weekend in jail over the weekend, my cousin's friend stole gasoline in a car that had a plate registered to me the next monday, so the detective came looking for me, then the wake and funeral for my friend's mom on tuesday and wednesday. Plus a girl I had feelings for years ago left the guy who stole her from me in the mix there too somewhere. Everything just happened all at once. But for the time I was at work, which is only 8 and a half hours a day, I checked those things in my car, and here's why.
Dealing with your problems leads to distraction. That's one of the biggest reasons. I realize that not everyone does manual labor, but distraction leads to accidents, and when you're lifting 500 lb transmissions, accidents can turn deadly. Distractions also slow down productivity in any job. The more product we can push, the more things we can fix, the more papers that can get pushed, the more jobs that can get created, and the better we can make our economy. Dealing with your life outside of work while at work also leads to social anxiety, and leads to poor teamwork, which also slows productivity. The third thing that the stress of every day life brings into the workplace is sickness. I checked my issue with my ex in my car that next day, but what I couldn't let go of was the stress induced stomach ache that came with it. I threw up four times at work that day. I didn't let it stop me but it definitely slowed me down. Most of America would have run home after the first time, and i considered throwing in the towel myself. In fact if it hadn't been my second day in my new location, I probably would have. And nothing stops productivity faster than not being there. Now I realize that this last one seems to say that I have brought my home to work with me, let me explain my point. I was sick all day from the stress of this even without thinking about it all day. Now imagine how sick I would have been if I had my head had been buried in the problem at hand. I don't think I'd have been able to even attempt to do my job.
So there you have it. Keep your home life at home, and keep your job at your job. Keep a happy home, and a safe and productive workplace. Don't cross the two, and don't let the problems of the two interfere, and keep your stress level down. And don't forget, as mentioned in a previous entry, don't date co workers, that's the ultimate bring your work home with you.
People don't ever think the other direction. Don't take your home to work with you. What does this mean?? Over the last two weeks I've had everything in my social/personal life just fall apart. A recent ex tried to contact me on monday, a friend's mother passed away on thursday, snow on friday, my buddy getting arrested and spending a weekend in jail over the weekend, my cousin's friend stole gasoline in a car that had a plate registered to me the next monday, so the detective came looking for me, then the wake and funeral for my friend's mom on tuesday and wednesday. Plus a girl I had feelings for years ago left the guy who stole her from me in the mix there too somewhere. Everything just happened all at once. But for the time I was at work, which is only 8 and a half hours a day, I checked those things in my car, and here's why.
Dealing with your problems leads to distraction. That's one of the biggest reasons. I realize that not everyone does manual labor, but distraction leads to accidents, and when you're lifting 500 lb transmissions, accidents can turn deadly. Distractions also slow down productivity in any job. The more product we can push, the more things we can fix, the more papers that can get pushed, the more jobs that can get created, and the better we can make our economy. Dealing with your life outside of work while at work also leads to social anxiety, and leads to poor teamwork, which also slows productivity. The third thing that the stress of every day life brings into the workplace is sickness. I checked my issue with my ex in my car that next day, but what I couldn't let go of was the stress induced stomach ache that came with it. I threw up four times at work that day. I didn't let it stop me but it definitely slowed me down. Most of America would have run home after the first time, and i considered throwing in the towel myself. In fact if it hadn't been my second day in my new location, I probably would have. And nothing stops productivity faster than not being there. Now I realize that this last one seems to say that I have brought my home to work with me, let me explain my point. I was sick all day from the stress of this even without thinking about it all day. Now imagine how sick I would have been if I had my head had been buried in the problem at hand. I don't think I'd have been able to even attempt to do my job.
So there you have it. Keep your home life at home, and keep your job at your job. Keep a happy home, and a safe and productive workplace. Don't cross the two, and don't let the problems of the two interfere, and keep your stress level down. And don't forget, as mentioned in a previous entry, don't date co workers, that's the ultimate bring your work home with you.
A Tribute to Early Nintendo Games and Why They Appeal to Mid 80's Kids
Over the last few years the early cartridge games from the Nintendo
Entertainment System have been making a massive comeback. Starting with
retro gaming stores, and moving on to illegal emulation and back
finally to legal retro virtual consoles on more modern consoles.
Whichever way it happens, extensive efforts have been made to make these
old games readily available to the masses again. And the people who
have seemingly been snapping them up more than anyone else are people
right around my age...born usually somewhere between 82 and about 87.
After thinking about this for a while, I came up with a few possible
reasons why this may be.
A starter is who these retro games appeal to. A big audience is big time gamers. People who spend money or pool money to get the highest end video game systems and high end PC's to play the newest games the day they come out. The same people sit and wait outside the electronics store and wait for every single video game to come out overnight, and pre-order every video game that's coming. Now I consider myself to be a video gamer, but not in this group specifically. I've never pre-ordered a video game in my life, but I do relate to these gamers in my desire to try out the newest technology as it comes out. So why would these horribly rendered fantasies appeal to such people. A thought to me is that playing these games is a tribute to what got us addicted. There's enough plot and story to them that they aren't done in five minutes like older atari games and other consoles, but simple enough that our parents would buy them for us and knew we could get into them and be effective.
This leads into the appeal to the rest of the general populus in my age group. People who used to tease and ridicule the people who admittedly played the retro games while they themselves were playing in secret, and now are coming out and saying they do play video games and still like the old ones. The way I see this phenomena is the fact of the age we were when we started playing these games. Now remember that the original Nintendo was everywhere. Every gas station that rented movies also had video games abundantly available. Most even had a console that you could rent too. The newest games were right there and you could walk, even in a small town, to rent them and afford them with your allowance. So this means that there were extensive hours spent playing these games by kids my age, who were like 10 tops at the time. Now that we are getting much much older, and have a more analytical brain to apply to these games, along with better reflexes, these challenges of our childhood that stopped us so hard in our tracks are seemingly much much easier. This, along with better technology, and the ability to save progress, means that we will begin to be able to see more of the game that we used to hit a wall with, and finish it up without having to sit and spend six hours in one sitting to do so. This means that we can go back to these games and give them attention now, and think them through, while still working through our normal routines, and the busy lives that we've grown up into
Now that we've seen the way these games can still be appealing, and thought a little about why, lets all take a step back and enjoy the little guilty pleasures from our youth. Enjoy them freely.
A starter is who these retro games appeal to. A big audience is big time gamers. People who spend money or pool money to get the highest end video game systems and high end PC's to play the newest games the day they come out. The same people sit and wait outside the electronics store and wait for every single video game to come out overnight, and pre-order every video game that's coming. Now I consider myself to be a video gamer, but not in this group specifically. I've never pre-ordered a video game in my life, but I do relate to these gamers in my desire to try out the newest technology as it comes out. So why would these horribly rendered fantasies appeal to such people. A thought to me is that playing these games is a tribute to what got us addicted. There's enough plot and story to them that they aren't done in five minutes like older atari games and other consoles, but simple enough that our parents would buy them for us and knew we could get into them and be effective.
This leads into the appeal to the rest of the general populus in my age group. People who used to tease and ridicule the people who admittedly played the retro games while they themselves were playing in secret, and now are coming out and saying they do play video games and still like the old ones. The way I see this phenomena is the fact of the age we were when we started playing these games. Now remember that the original Nintendo was everywhere. Every gas station that rented movies also had video games abundantly available. Most even had a console that you could rent too. The newest games were right there and you could walk, even in a small town, to rent them and afford them with your allowance. So this means that there were extensive hours spent playing these games by kids my age, who were like 10 tops at the time. Now that we are getting much much older, and have a more analytical brain to apply to these games, along with better reflexes, these challenges of our childhood that stopped us so hard in our tracks are seemingly much much easier. This, along with better technology, and the ability to save progress, means that we will begin to be able to see more of the game that we used to hit a wall with, and finish it up without having to sit and spend six hours in one sitting to do so. This means that we can go back to these games and give them attention now, and think them through, while still working through our normal routines, and the busy lives that we've grown up into
Now that we've seen the way these games can still be appealing, and thought a little about why, lets all take a step back and enjoy the little guilty pleasures from our youth. Enjoy them freely.
More Famous Girls I Think Are Hot
Like most good ideas, this is really simple. Even more celebrities I'm attracted to
Zooey Deschanel- More blue eyes, and dark hair, plus she's really funny and that's attractive.
Alessandra Torresani-Wow, I really have a fetish, don't I?? (btw, she was in the short lived Battlestar Galactica Origins series, Caprica, and she also has dark hair and blue eyes)
Megan Fox - I think you're starting to get it..
Jessica Biel - I can't rightly explain this honestly...she has none of the physical qualities I like, except when she wore glasses in Chuck and Larry, but she's just phenomenal anyway
Drew Barrymore - Drew Barrymore is weird because she goes on periods where she's super hot, then she just stops being hot for a while, and is less than average, then a couple years later you see her in a commercial and she's super hot again. I adore her smile, it's perfect.
Anne Hathaway - Anne Hathaway has a clumsy geeky charm to her that I just can't ignore. I know she's actually not relatable, but that charm brings her down to earth and makes her actually seem a little bit relatable
Kaley Cuoco - Cute. Curvy. Can project real power in her voice. I really have only one complaint and that is she only plays roles that are really brainless and slutty, and I feel she has more talent than that
Diane Neal - The good looking lawyer in SVU. Cute face and hot voice.
And now two local celebrities. Who knows, maybe a reader knows one and I'll get set up on a date.
The girl who used to be on the mobideals and hey! it's half off commercials - I'm actually pretty sure I met her once already, but I was also pretty hammered that night. But yeah, she's really hot.
Nicole Coglin - Great sense of style, and just plain really really cute. Very bright and bubbly too.
Short, simple, and to the point
Zooey Deschanel- More blue eyes, and dark hair, plus she's really funny and that's attractive.
Alessandra Torresani-Wow, I really have a fetish, don't I?? (btw, she was in the short lived Battlestar Galactica Origins series, Caprica, and she also has dark hair and blue eyes)
Megan Fox - I think you're starting to get it..
Jessica Biel - I can't rightly explain this honestly...she has none of the physical qualities I like, except when she wore glasses in Chuck and Larry, but she's just phenomenal anyway
Drew Barrymore - Drew Barrymore is weird because she goes on periods where she's super hot, then she just stops being hot for a while, and is less than average, then a couple years later you see her in a commercial and she's super hot again. I adore her smile, it's perfect.
Anne Hathaway - Anne Hathaway has a clumsy geeky charm to her that I just can't ignore. I know she's actually not relatable, but that charm brings her down to earth and makes her actually seem a little bit relatable
Kaley Cuoco - Cute. Curvy. Can project real power in her voice. I really have only one complaint and that is she only plays roles that are really brainless and slutty, and I feel she has more talent than that
Diane Neal - The good looking lawyer in SVU. Cute face and hot voice.
And now two local celebrities. Who knows, maybe a reader knows one and I'll get set up on a date.
The girl who used to be on the mobideals and hey! it's half off commercials - I'm actually pretty sure I met her once already, but I was also pretty hammered that night. But yeah, she's really hot.
Nicole Coglin - Great sense of style, and just plain really really cute. Very bright and bubbly too.
Short, simple, and to the point
Alcohol That I Like
This and my previous post on foods were requested of me by a reader,
so here is my next list. Remember you can ask me about anything and I
will publish my views on it if I know anything about it, or I will
research the topic and find out what I think about it if I don't. Most
people think I'll only drink one thing or two things, but I actually
have quite an extensive list of things I've tried and liked. And I do
have much more to try
Scotch on the rocks
Scotch and soda (this is seltzer water btw, someone at deep blues actually made this with coke the other night and it was gross)
Classic Margarita on the rocks with salt. None of that weird flavored shit or crushed ice. Just tequila, triple sec and lime
Jack and coke. Bourbon is sweeter, so it can be mixed with a sweet brown soda.
Bourbon on the rocks
Vodka on the rocks
Vodka and Mt Dew, I like this when I'm having dinner just because it's not so dry
Tequila shots, even though pretty much every time i've done those I've gotten in some trouble for something
Vodka and Tonic
Car Bombs, even though they really really don't like me
Long Islands from Ron's. Green Monster, Bada Bing, Grape, Sour Apple. I'm really not big into berries so I only like these ones
Uncommon Beers. I'm not 15 anymore, I don't have to depend on Miller Lite to satisfy me. I like more uncommon things now. I haven't gone completely to no name things yet, but I prefer less common beers like Rolling Rock, Guiness, Stella Artois, Sam Adams, or Mickey's, while i prefer to stay away from things like Miller and Budweiser. I may move on to only microbrews or things like that, but but for now thats where I prefer to sit on the few occasions I do drink beer.
Scotch on the rocks
Scotch and soda (this is seltzer water btw, someone at deep blues actually made this with coke the other night and it was gross)
Classic Margarita on the rocks with salt. None of that weird flavored shit or crushed ice. Just tequila, triple sec and lime
Jack and coke. Bourbon is sweeter, so it can be mixed with a sweet brown soda.
Bourbon on the rocks
Vodka on the rocks
Vodka and Mt Dew, I like this when I'm having dinner just because it's not so dry
Tequila shots, even though pretty much every time i've done those I've gotten in some trouble for something
Vodka and Tonic
Car Bombs, even though they really really don't like me
Long Islands from Ron's. Green Monster, Bada Bing, Grape, Sour Apple. I'm really not big into berries so I only like these ones
Uncommon Beers. I'm not 15 anymore, I don't have to depend on Miller Lite to satisfy me. I like more uncommon things now. I haven't gone completely to no name things yet, but I prefer less common beers like Rolling Rock, Guiness, Stella Artois, Sam Adams, or Mickey's, while i prefer to stay away from things like Miller and Budweiser. I may move on to only microbrews or things like that, but but for now thats where I prefer to sit on the few occasions I do drink beer.
Some Foods That Make Me Happy
I'm a very open person about food, and I love to cook as well as try new things. Here are some of my favorites
My home made lasagne
Deep dish pizza, even th0ugh I haven't had any since I was a kid
stuffed pizza, like the kind that has crust on both sides
Hot dogs from Trolley Dogs. The ones I've tried so far are the Johnny Bravo (cheese sauce, chili, sour cream, and fritos), the Francheezie (cheese sauce and deep fried bacon) and the Kenosha Dog (cheese sauce). There are a ton more I want to try, I just discovered the place a few weeks ago.
The T-Hurst Special from Ron's place (a burger topped with ham, onion and cheese)
Mongolian grills like BD's or Hu Hot
Breakfast Quesadillas from Danny's cafe
Crab Rangoon from Hong Kong on 18th Street in Kenosha.
I can't get enough of Subway's Meatball marinara sub
Potato Crusted Cod from L&M meats on 60th St. in Kenosha
Cheddar brats, also from L&M
Shrimp or other seafood in Garlic or Lobster sauce from any chinese place.
the Cheesy Cheddar Burger from Wendy's
Texas Toast Grilled Cheese
McDonald's Frappe Caramel
Cheese Squares from the Spot Drive-in
Sunnyside's cod dinner (damn you second shift)
Onion rings
I like a ton of other things, but these are just some of the things I will go out of my way for
My home made lasagne
Deep dish pizza, even th0ugh I haven't had any since I was a kid
stuffed pizza, like the kind that has crust on both sides
Hot dogs from Trolley Dogs. The ones I've tried so far are the Johnny Bravo (cheese sauce, chili, sour cream, and fritos), the Francheezie (cheese sauce and deep fried bacon) and the Kenosha Dog (cheese sauce). There are a ton more I want to try, I just discovered the place a few weeks ago.
The T-Hurst Special from Ron's place (a burger topped with ham, onion and cheese)
Mongolian grills like BD's or Hu Hot
Breakfast Quesadillas from Danny's cafe
Crab Rangoon from Hong Kong on 18th Street in Kenosha.
I can't get enough of Subway's Meatball marinara sub
Potato Crusted Cod from L&M meats on 60th St. in Kenosha
Cheddar brats, also from L&M
Shrimp or other seafood in Garlic or Lobster sauce from any chinese place.
the Cheesy Cheddar Burger from Wendy's
Texas Toast Grilled Cheese
McDonald's Frappe Caramel
Cheese Squares from the Spot Drive-in
Sunnyside's cod dinner (damn you second shift)
Onion rings
I like a ton of other things, but these are just some of the things I will go out of my way for
Rules on Dating 3: The Marriage Fix
Most everyone knows that I am not married. I am beginning to believe
that I am the only mechanic in America that isn't either married or in a
relationship that mimics or will lead to marriage, or has never been
married. I'm not against marriage, it's just not a goal in my life. If
someone comes along and for some reason it actually works with that
person, yeah, we'll get married, but basically I'm not about to pay for a
divorce, child support, or expensive marriage counselling. If I'm
gonna get married, when I say "til death" it means til death.
This having been said, there is a trend going on in America. People are continuing to get married extremely young in spite of the fact that it's no longer 1977. Having been engaged twice myself, I have been given a unique look into the phenomena that causes this, and yes, there is a clearly defined phenomena. It's called the Theory of the Marriage Fix.
The Marriage Fix generally comes almost immediately after the Honeymoon Phase begins to get old. As a new couple begins to get tired from having sex 4 times a day every day for the last four months, they begin to realize that they are going to have to start discussing real topics, and begin to realize that they, in fact, are two different people with two different viewpoints on life. Responsible couples, and ultimately the couples that will stand the test of time, will begin to discuss their differences and spend years learning about each other. Responsible singles will realize that the sex was really good, but there's no way the proverbial square peg will fit into the round hole, and part ways, sometimes on good terms, most of the time on fiery, spiteful, hateful terms. 3/4 of America, however, will revert to the Marriage Fix.
Now, the Marriage Fix isn't necessarily getting married. It can more accurately be defined as moving a premature relationship to it's next level when you realize there is friction and tension to catapult yourself back to the Honeymoon Phase, and it depends entirely on the age and level of the relationship. For two teenagers in high school, the first step may be deciding to have sex for the first time, while for most adults over 20, it's more likely to be "let's move in together". Either way it's enough to force yourself back into the new and exciting. While this is not criminal by itself, it opens the door for another step in the Marriage Fix when things go stale again.
Now, before I go and call a rebuttal against what is sadly the new standard of social life and courtship in my great country, especially the part of the country I live in, I'm gonna share a couple statistics with you, my loyal reading audience. A discussion with my female roommate a year ago taught me that most popular single girls in their 20s to mid 30s, also known as "woo girls" or.....well I'm classy and I'm not gonna put that title here, expect a proposal within 1 calendar year of the first date (or first drunken gropefest that led from the dance floor to one member's home), or they will end the relationship. This is a fact that leads us into the huge failed marriage statistic, because I can't see a person basing a lifetime decision on one year. I'd be more willing to accept it should it be having lived together for one year. I know the Bible says that a couple should not live together before marriage, but I feel as it is a necessary to show true compatability. My roommate and I, who aren't and never will date, lived together for 6 months before we started fighting and hating each other, so if it had been a couple's situation, we wouldn't have known that quickly that we have real friction. Now, with that statistic, I was also watching fox news last night and according to census statistics, the marriage rate and divorce rate all the way across the age board is down over the last 10 years nationwide. I like seeing this statistic, because it shows me that people are beginning to think about what they are doing before they make a decision that can turn very costly in the end and affects more than just themselves.
Now back to the topic at hand here, after the move in period happens and we have a new, hot, steamy Honeymoon Phase in "our bed" rather than his or her bed, things are bound to begin to stale again. You'll start to notice things about your partner's lifestyle and the way he or she keeps the home, and it will be little things you can't just ignore and run back to your own home and ignore because you're getting good sex consistently. On top of this, the issues from before are still bubbling under the surface that you didn't deal with before you moved in together. Now you, once again, have two choices. You can either deal with this now and discuss openly how you;re gonna make your life better, whether it's concessions on both parts or splitting up, or you can go to the Marriage Fix. And since you no longer have any options that don't involve the state, the marriage fix can go in one of two dangerous directions. It's either "lets get married" or "lets have a baby". Either one will generally have the other follow as the following step in the cycle, but now you have just put yourself in the position in which if you do find a need to split, there will be attorney's and a judge involved. Expensive options that could have been saved with an hour conversation way back in the beginning.
One side note in closing. While most of these situations end in a divorce, and usually a nasty one, there is a hope at the end of the tunnel. In spite of the fact that I wasn't around for most of it, the early parts of my parent's relationship, from stories I've been told, could be defined as "the Marriage Fix". My parents got married way too quickly and way too young, and after Teresa and I were born, their problems did begin to come screaming to the surface. However, they took the time after and did discuss it, and made their own concessions as needed and have been married now for 32 years. Not every Marriage Fix has to end in heartbreak, just take some time and discuss it early.
This having been said, there is a trend going on in America. People are continuing to get married extremely young in spite of the fact that it's no longer 1977. Having been engaged twice myself, I have been given a unique look into the phenomena that causes this, and yes, there is a clearly defined phenomena. It's called the Theory of the Marriage Fix.
The Marriage Fix generally comes almost immediately after the Honeymoon Phase begins to get old. As a new couple begins to get tired from having sex 4 times a day every day for the last four months, they begin to realize that they are going to have to start discussing real topics, and begin to realize that they, in fact, are two different people with two different viewpoints on life. Responsible couples, and ultimately the couples that will stand the test of time, will begin to discuss their differences and spend years learning about each other. Responsible singles will realize that the sex was really good, but there's no way the proverbial square peg will fit into the round hole, and part ways, sometimes on good terms, most of the time on fiery, spiteful, hateful terms. 3/4 of America, however, will revert to the Marriage Fix.
Now, the Marriage Fix isn't necessarily getting married. It can more accurately be defined as moving a premature relationship to it's next level when you realize there is friction and tension to catapult yourself back to the Honeymoon Phase, and it depends entirely on the age and level of the relationship. For two teenagers in high school, the first step may be deciding to have sex for the first time, while for most adults over 20, it's more likely to be "let's move in together". Either way it's enough to force yourself back into the new and exciting. While this is not criminal by itself, it opens the door for another step in the Marriage Fix when things go stale again.
Now, before I go and call a rebuttal against what is sadly the new standard of social life and courtship in my great country, especially the part of the country I live in, I'm gonna share a couple statistics with you, my loyal reading audience. A discussion with my female roommate a year ago taught me that most popular single girls in their 20s to mid 30s, also known as "woo girls" or.....well I'm classy and I'm not gonna put that title here, expect a proposal within 1 calendar year of the first date (or first drunken gropefest that led from the dance floor to one member's home), or they will end the relationship. This is a fact that leads us into the huge failed marriage statistic, because I can't see a person basing a lifetime decision on one year. I'd be more willing to accept it should it be having lived together for one year. I know the Bible says that a couple should not live together before marriage, but I feel as it is a necessary to show true compatability. My roommate and I, who aren't and never will date, lived together for 6 months before we started fighting and hating each other, so if it had been a couple's situation, we wouldn't have known that quickly that we have real friction. Now, with that statistic, I was also watching fox news last night and according to census statistics, the marriage rate and divorce rate all the way across the age board is down over the last 10 years nationwide. I like seeing this statistic, because it shows me that people are beginning to think about what they are doing before they make a decision that can turn very costly in the end and affects more than just themselves.
Now back to the topic at hand here, after the move in period happens and we have a new, hot, steamy Honeymoon Phase in "our bed" rather than his or her bed, things are bound to begin to stale again. You'll start to notice things about your partner's lifestyle and the way he or she keeps the home, and it will be little things you can't just ignore and run back to your own home and ignore because you're getting good sex consistently. On top of this, the issues from before are still bubbling under the surface that you didn't deal with before you moved in together. Now you, once again, have two choices. You can either deal with this now and discuss openly how you;re gonna make your life better, whether it's concessions on both parts or splitting up, or you can go to the Marriage Fix. And since you no longer have any options that don't involve the state, the marriage fix can go in one of two dangerous directions. It's either "lets get married" or "lets have a baby". Either one will generally have the other follow as the following step in the cycle, but now you have just put yourself in the position in which if you do find a need to split, there will be attorney's and a judge involved. Expensive options that could have been saved with an hour conversation way back in the beginning.
One side note in closing. While most of these situations end in a divorce, and usually a nasty one, there is a hope at the end of the tunnel. In spite of the fact that I wasn't around for most of it, the early parts of my parent's relationship, from stories I've been told, could be defined as "the Marriage Fix". My parents got married way too quickly and way too young, and after Teresa and I were born, their problems did begin to come screaming to the surface. However, they took the time after and did discuss it, and made their own concessions as needed and have been married now for 32 years. Not every Marriage Fix has to end in heartbreak, just take some time and discuss it early.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Rules on Dating 2 - Thoughts on Long Term.
Couple things we need to get out of the way first before we get into
the meat of this. #1, a friend of my dad's lost his daughter this
morning, so lets keep the Stirneman family in our prayers. #2, while I
try to keep my blog light hearted, the inspiration for this entry was me
getting pissed off, so this is gonna be more serious, and a lot of
people are gonna get really pissed off about this. Many readers won't
want to be my friend anymore after reading this, this is your disclaimer
Now, most people who know me know I don't do long term, so I'm sure that there was a lot of shock when the title of this entry was read for the first time, whether on facebook or when they stumble across this from getting the link directly from me. In my own defense, I'm not against long term, but I'm picky, and somewhat wary after the things that have happened to me. So if I start to realize early that it's not gonna work, I'm not gonna sit and wait it out and see if I'm wrong, or change myself to force it to work. I've been in that relationship before, and i hated every day of it, and I hated myself for it. With that having been said, I also go on a lot of dates with a lot of different girls. If it is gonna be a year, 2 year, 5 year, or lifelong relationship, it's gotta be the right girl.
So now lets get into the meat of this. I was informed last night, by someone who can't function as a single, that the reason that I'm always out with a different girl every weekend, and the fact that, yes, I have sex, and it's not always with someone who means something to me, that I have some huge void in my life that I'm trying to fill. I tried to lead the conversation away to avoid a huge fight, and she kept forcing it back that way, and I lost it. After I spent some time reminding her how she begged me to come be her new surrogate father for her child, she went well over the line and wished that I would "find someone who fills my void and completes me". Now, first off, we've all had health class, and we all know the mechanics of where babies come from, so any of us know that I'm the one filling the void, not the other way around. Back to seriousness, the phrase "you complete me" is beyond just wrong. It's just sick and disgusting and it's a demeaning invention from the hallmark company to push single people to get into relationships when they're not ready, so they can sell more chocolate and valentines cards. I complete me. my life is full and complete and meaningful by myself without someone in it. People who look for the person who "completes" them are the people who are likely to get divorced. Having been in a long long term relationship where my fiance needed me to be satisfied in herself, I know where these relationships fail. The secret to a real successful relationship is to be complete before going into it. If you think about it, how can you really give yourself completely to someone if you're not satisfied in yourself. Wouldn't you feel a little bit like you're cheating someone if you give them something (someone) that you're not satisfied with?? A similar topic is how people "need" to be with someone. You're just begging to get hurt at that point. I don't want to be with someone because I somehow require it to validate myself, but because I want to just spend time with her. Need puts so much pressure on another person, and I see the most important aspect to a good successful relationship is to have no pressure. Pressure drives guilt and guilt drives resentment.
Bottom line, love yourself, then love another. Complete yourself, and find happiness that way. And don't go long term until you find someone who is worth going long term with. And don't settle for anything less than what you want or deserve
J. Edgar Davis
Now, most people who know me know I don't do long term, so I'm sure that there was a lot of shock when the title of this entry was read for the first time, whether on facebook or when they stumble across this from getting the link directly from me. In my own defense, I'm not against long term, but I'm picky, and somewhat wary after the things that have happened to me. So if I start to realize early that it's not gonna work, I'm not gonna sit and wait it out and see if I'm wrong, or change myself to force it to work. I've been in that relationship before, and i hated every day of it, and I hated myself for it. With that having been said, I also go on a lot of dates with a lot of different girls. If it is gonna be a year, 2 year, 5 year, or lifelong relationship, it's gotta be the right girl.
So now lets get into the meat of this. I was informed last night, by someone who can't function as a single, that the reason that I'm always out with a different girl every weekend, and the fact that, yes, I have sex, and it's not always with someone who means something to me, that I have some huge void in my life that I'm trying to fill. I tried to lead the conversation away to avoid a huge fight, and she kept forcing it back that way, and I lost it. After I spent some time reminding her how she begged me to come be her new surrogate father for her child, she went well over the line and wished that I would "find someone who fills my void and completes me". Now, first off, we've all had health class, and we all know the mechanics of where babies come from, so any of us know that I'm the one filling the void, not the other way around. Back to seriousness, the phrase "you complete me" is beyond just wrong. It's just sick and disgusting and it's a demeaning invention from the hallmark company to push single people to get into relationships when they're not ready, so they can sell more chocolate and valentines cards. I complete me. my life is full and complete and meaningful by myself without someone in it. People who look for the person who "completes" them are the people who are likely to get divorced. Having been in a long long term relationship where my fiance needed me to be satisfied in herself, I know where these relationships fail. The secret to a real successful relationship is to be complete before going into it. If you think about it, how can you really give yourself completely to someone if you're not satisfied in yourself. Wouldn't you feel a little bit like you're cheating someone if you give them something (someone) that you're not satisfied with?? A similar topic is how people "need" to be with someone. You're just begging to get hurt at that point. I don't want to be with someone because I somehow require it to validate myself, but because I want to just spend time with her. Need puts so much pressure on another person, and I see the most important aspect to a good successful relationship is to have no pressure. Pressure drives guilt and guilt drives resentment.
Bottom line, love yourself, then love another. Complete yourself, and find happiness that way. And don't go long term until you find someone who is worth going long term with. And don't settle for anything less than what you want or deserve
J. Edgar Davis
Things I Like in Women
I like women, and I'm very open about who I go out with. There are a
few things that turn me on more than other things. I would easily
settle down with someone who didn't embrace any of these items, but
while single these are things I notice while I'm looking.
Glasses-Most people wear glasses or contacts nowadays. 20/20 vision gets rarer and rarer every day. Most people though wouldn't be caught dead out of the house with their glasses on. I like glasses on girls. I never learned how to wear contacts, but I'm not ashamed of the fact that my vision isn't completely perfect, and I like girls who aren't ashamed of that either. Society may say that your glasses are ugly, but I think they're pretty cute on you.
Shapely women-size doesn't matter much to me. I've dated the entire way across the spectrum from a 85 lb girl all the way up to a girl who proudly announced herself as 220 to the whole world. to me it's the shape. I love hips and I love asses and curvy thighs. Big boobs don't even really matter so much to me to be honest.
Younger women-I prefer not to date girls over 25, and I've been known to lie about my age to have a better chance with a 21 year old girl. Don't judge me, it's just what I like. I don't make this judgement blindly. I was engaged to someone who was 6 months older than me before.
Brunettes-Brunette is beautiful. End of story. And when you say it's "dirty blond"....just say it's brown...I'm too colorblind to differentiate, and it looks brown to me. they call my hair dark blond...it's brown. I kinda like the combination of brown hair and blue or green eyes, too, but I'm cautious about that because the last two girls I went out with like that were a little messed up in the head, and they look was so hypnotic to me that I just looked past it.
Redheads-Very few people know this, but I also have a big big thing for the gingers. I think a part of it is that around here it's generally kinda rare to find a natural one, but I really really like the look
Fair skin-It's not pale, that's such a negative word. I do think it looks very good though
Deep deep tan-Is it weird that my big turn ons in this category are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I really really do like the fair skin look, but I've been out with two girls very notably who were tanning booth addicts, and I don't know if it was the tan itself, or just how it looked on them, but it just looked phenomenal.
Conservative style-The girl in the half shirt and the shorts that don't cover her legs at all in the bar or everywhere else out in public is really not that attractive. I like a little mystery when I pull those clothes of, and it just seems much more self respectful when I haven't seen 3/4 of your body already. Please note that this only applies to going out to a bar, in a store, at a restaurant, etc. When you're at the beach or rollerblading on the lakefront or otherwise, feel free to wear that bikini. The old saying "there's a time and a place" is perfect for this point.
It is still what's inside that counts most of all, so if I'm not specifically seeing someone, and you think your friend, who doesn't fit any of these guidelines, would click with me on a personal level...I will still give it a shot. It does go both ways. a few years ago I was set up on a blind date with a shapely girl with a great round ass, very fair skinned, glasses, brown hair and big blue eyes, and there was just nothing there.
Glasses-Most people wear glasses or contacts nowadays. 20/20 vision gets rarer and rarer every day. Most people though wouldn't be caught dead out of the house with their glasses on. I like glasses on girls. I never learned how to wear contacts, but I'm not ashamed of the fact that my vision isn't completely perfect, and I like girls who aren't ashamed of that either. Society may say that your glasses are ugly, but I think they're pretty cute on you.
Shapely women-size doesn't matter much to me. I've dated the entire way across the spectrum from a 85 lb girl all the way up to a girl who proudly announced herself as 220 to the whole world. to me it's the shape. I love hips and I love asses and curvy thighs. Big boobs don't even really matter so much to me to be honest.
Younger women-I prefer not to date girls over 25, and I've been known to lie about my age to have a better chance with a 21 year old girl. Don't judge me, it's just what I like. I don't make this judgement blindly. I was engaged to someone who was 6 months older than me before.
Brunettes-Brunette is beautiful. End of story. And when you say it's "dirty blond"....just say it's brown...I'm too colorblind to differentiate, and it looks brown to me. they call my hair dark blond...it's brown. I kinda like the combination of brown hair and blue or green eyes, too, but I'm cautious about that because the last two girls I went out with like that were a little messed up in the head, and they look was so hypnotic to me that I just looked past it.
Redheads-Very few people know this, but I also have a big big thing for the gingers. I think a part of it is that around here it's generally kinda rare to find a natural one, but I really really like the look
Fair skin-It's not pale, that's such a negative word. I do think it looks very good though
Deep deep tan-Is it weird that my big turn ons in this category are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I really really do like the fair skin look, but I've been out with two girls very notably who were tanning booth addicts, and I don't know if it was the tan itself, or just how it looked on them, but it just looked phenomenal.
Conservative style-The girl in the half shirt and the shorts that don't cover her legs at all in the bar or everywhere else out in public is really not that attractive. I like a little mystery when I pull those clothes of, and it just seems much more self respectful when I haven't seen 3/4 of your body already. Please note that this only applies to going out to a bar, in a store, at a restaurant, etc. When you're at the beach or rollerblading on the lakefront or otherwise, feel free to wear that bikini. The old saying "there's a time and a place" is perfect for this point.
It is still what's inside that counts most of all, so if I'm not specifically seeing someone, and you think your friend, who doesn't fit any of these guidelines, would click with me on a personal level...I will still give it a shot. It does go both ways. a few years ago I was set up on a blind date with a shapely girl with a great round ass, very fair skinned, glasses, brown hair and big blue eyes, and there was just nothing there.
Rules on Dating 1: The Forbidden Demographics
Most people think that I'll go out with anything. Ok, that's mostly
my family. But it's 100% not true. I have standards, and if I'm not
attracted I won't. There are things I like and things I don't. Also no
matter how attracted I am, there are three specific groups of women I
will never ever go out with, for various reasons.
1. Co-workers. This is just a terrible idea for anyone. I know she looks hot now, and you're undressing her slowly with your eyes, but think long term. Short term, you have a random hookup and it goes nowhere else. Good job, now she can easily find you every day. Long term, you go out, you kind of like her and you start to get serious. However many months later, something terrible happens...she catches your wandering eye, the spark goes away, she catches you in bed with a farm animal...whatever reason, you break up. Now she knows everyone you know, and once again, sees you everyday, and more importantly, sees your boss every day. She can ruin you, and there's little you can do about it while still staying classy, and as a well living gentleman, you can't be judged as crass. Avoid co workers at all costs, no matter how hot she is.
2. Women with kids who know my friends. Specific and to the point. In the early to mid 20's a girl with kids tends to go into panic mode after a relationship ends, wondering how she's gonna put another father into her child's life. After some time goes by she realizes that she actually can do it on her own and be more picky, but right at that first sign of singledom, it's a hard rush, "what do I do, who's gonna raise my baby with me". Some of these ploys can get interesting and fun, but a lot can get scary and semi-stalkerish. Now because I do date under 25 almost exclusively, any single mother I would meet falls into this demographic. I'm not opposed to going out with a girl who has a child, it's not my first choice but I'm not gonna just throw it out. But I'd rather keep her at arms length for a bit to make sure it's really me she's into and not a panic rush move to give someone a nice little prepackaged family. Having her know someone in my family or one of my close friends negates this as she can run to them and find out where I live easily if our breakup isn't mutual for whatever reason.
3. Sunnyside Bartenders. This is hard, because they're all pretty hot, and I actually am kind of sweet on one of them, but for me, this is a no-no. The three guys I consider to be some of my best friends in the world frequent the place, it's their favorite, and one of them actually works there one day a week. For me to go out with one of them, and have something bad happen, I couldn't leave the bad blood, and bad feelings to be taken out on my friends, nor would I leave a situation that Brian would have to clean up.
There we go, that's my forbidden list...anything else I'll try once, and maybe I'll wind up having to add something else to my list if you set me up with another demographic that goes completely awry
1. Co-workers. This is just a terrible idea for anyone. I know she looks hot now, and you're undressing her slowly with your eyes, but think long term. Short term, you have a random hookup and it goes nowhere else. Good job, now she can easily find you every day. Long term, you go out, you kind of like her and you start to get serious. However many months later, something terrible happens...she catches your wandering eye, the spark goes away, she catches you in bed with a farm animal...whatever reason, you break up. Now she knows everyone you know, and once again, sees you everyday, and more importantly, sees your boss every day. She can ruin you, and there's little you can do about it while still staying classy, and as a well living gentleman, you can't be judged as crass. Avoid co workers at all costs, no matter how hot she is.
2. Women with kids who know my friends. Specific and to the point. In the early to mid 20's a girl with kids tends to go into panic mode after a relationship ends, wondering how she's gonna put another father into her child's life. After some time goes by she realizes that she actually can do it on her own and be more picky, but right at that first sign of singledom, it's a hard rush, "what do I do, who's gonna raise my baby with me". Some of these ploys can get interesting and fun, but a lot can get scary and semi-stalkerish. Now because I do date under 25 almost exclusively, any single mother I would meet falls into this demographic. I'm not opposed to going out with a girl who has a child, it's not my first choice but I'm not gonna just throw it out. But I'd rather keep her at arms length for a bit to make sure it's really me she's into and not a panic rush move to give someone a nice little prepackaged family. Having her know someone in my family or one of my close friends negates this as she can run to them and find out where I live easily if our breakup isn't mutual for whatever reason.
3. Sunnyside Bartenders. This is hard, because they're all pretty hot, and I actually am kind of sweet on one of them, but for me, this is a no-no. The three guys I consider to be some of my best friends in the world frequent the place, it's their favorite, and one of them actually works there one day a week. For me to go out with one of them, and have something bad happen, I couldn't leave the bad blood, and bad feelings to be taken out on my friends, nor would I leave a situation that Brian would have to clean up.
There we go, that's my forbidden list...anything else I'll try once, and maybe I'll wind up having to add something else to my list if you set me up with another demographic that goes completely awry
Famous girls that are really hot
This is simple. This is just a list of women who are famous that I'm really attracted to, and a my reasoning for it.
1. Ashley Tisdale. Everyone who knows me well already knew this name was gonna be at the top of this list. I'll admit she's a little bony and could use a little bit of curve to her legs, but I really love her eyes and smile. Her voice carries a lot of power. Her Sharpay power trip (which was what introduced me to her in the first place) was really really hot, and she's super nice and intelligent. Ultimately the perfect girl. I'd give anything to meet her.
2. Michelle Branch. My high school crush. Many people have compared her visually to Vanessa Carlton, but anyone who says this is way way way off. Wonderful voice, and she looks way hot with an acoustic guitar, and she sounds hot singing country
3. Natalie Imbruglia. Brown hair, crystal blue eyes. Anyone who knows me needs no further explanation.
4, Colbie Caillait. Oh my freaking god the legs on that girl. and her voice surrounds me and makes me feel a little weird. But back to the legs. If I had legs like that, I would never wear anything but shorts either.
5. Bridgit Mendler. She's 18, I checked. Other than that, see above.
6. Christine Lakin. Step by step's Al Lambert. Curvy, strong, sporty, pretty. First TV crush I ever remember having
7. Amy Lee. We'll go back to blue eyes and dark hair. Angelic voice, and a little bit of gothy charm. A+
8. Courtney Hansen. She's really not all that hot to be honest, but I do love her voice.
9. Kari Byron. Really hot, and brainy. Cute smile, great body, and loves to blow things up. How can this even be argued.
10. Gwen Stefani. Naturally unenhanced classic beauty. She looks like Marylin Monroe, and she sings for one of the greatest bands from the 90's. And she can be in the public eye without being stupid.
Here you go...enjoy.
1. Ashley Tisdale. Everyone who knows me well already knew this name was gonna be at the top of this list. I'll admit she's a little bony and could use a little bit of curve to her legs, but I really love her eyes and smile. Her voice carries a lot of power. Her Sharpay power trip (which was what introduced me to her in the first place) was really really hot, and she's super nice and intelligent. Ultimately the perfect girl. I'd give anything to meet her.
2. Michelle Branch. My high school crush. Many people have compared her visually to Vanessa Carlton, but anyone who says this is way way way off. Wonderful voice, and she looks way hot with an acoustic guitar, and she sounds hot singing country
3. Natalie Imbruglia. Brown hair, crystal blue eyes. Anyone who knows me needs no further explanation.
4, Colbie Caillait. Oh my freaking god the legs on that girl. and her voice surrounds me and makes me feel a little weird. But back to the legs. If I had legs like that, I would never wear anything but shorts either.
5. Bridgit Mendler. She's 18, I checked. Other than that, see above.
6. Christine Lakin. Step by step's Al Lambert. Curvy, strong, sporty, pretty. First TV crush I ever remember having
7. Amy Lee. We'll go back to blue eyes and dark hair. Angelic voice, and a little bit of gothy charm. A+
8. Courtney Hansen. She's really not all that hot to be honest, but I do love her voice.
9. Kari Byron. Really hot, and brainy. Cute smile, great body, and loves to blow things up. How can this even be argued.
10. Gwen Stefani. Naturally unenhanced classic beauty. She looks like Marylin Monroe, and she sings for one of the greatest bands from the 90's. And she can be in the public eye without being stupid.
Here you go...enjoy.
Further Thoughts on Republicans Versus Democrats
The reactions to various observations on the political state of our
country have led me to make some more observations on the violently
different political parties, and I can officially delegate politically
active people into five categories. You know where you stand
1. Extreme Democrats - The extreme left winger is very easily identified. An extremist for the left wing side starts to read something conservative, even if it's moderate enough to see things objectively, up until the point that he sees somethinge he doesn't like, ignores the remainder of it and publically attempts to ostricize the author without having all the facts. Even if the article, or web post is written moderately to the left, as soon as he sees something from the conservative point of view, it's time to take the author to the cleaners
2. Moderate Democrats - A guy who's only a touch to the left wants to change the world, but sees the conservative side, and can take it into consideration. Moderate lefties are generally quiet, preferring to do something quiet and behind the scenes.
3. Moderate Republicans - While the views can be similarly classed to the moderate democrat, just on the opposite side, Moderate righties are very different. a moderate conservative wants to keep things the same, class systems, jobs, etc., but realize that some change will be necessary to accomplish his goals. Moderate conservatives tend to be outspoken about their views, a trait that comes with the conservative territory. Many moderate conservatives hate to be associated with their extremist counterparts, but share similar views on government goals
4. Extreme Republicans - Extremists to the right side publically attack their opponents with little to no credible information. They have their own goals and don't care about what anyone else has to say. Tea party members are a great example of this.
5. Independents - People who claim they are an independent are normally an extremist to one side or the other who don't want to be judged as an "X" wing nutjob.
We all have our faults, including myself, I classify myself into the moderate conservative class. I read as much as I can from both sides and make my decisions that way, and I am very public about what I decide. I also hate the tea party and rush limbaugh, as they give every other conservative a bad name
1. Extreme Democrats - The extreme left winger is very easily identified. An extremist for the left wing side starts to read something conservative, even if it's moderate enough to see things objectively, up until the point that he sees somethinge he doesn't like, ignores the remainder of it and publically attempts to ostricize the author without having all the facts. Even if the article, or web post is written moderately to the left, as soon as he sees something from the conservative point of view, it's time to take the author to the cleaners
2. Moderate Democrats - A guy who's only a touch to the left wants to change the world, but sees the conservative side, and can take it into consideration. Moderate lefties are generally quiet, preferring to do something quiet and behind the scenes.
3. Moderate Republicans - While the views can be similarly classed to the moderate democrat, just on the opposite side, Moderate righties are very different. a moderate conservative wants to keep things the same, class systems, jobs, etc., but realize that some change will be necessary to accomplish his goals. Moderate conservatives tend to be outspoken about their views, a trait that comes with the conservative territory. Many moderate conservatives hate to be associated with their extremist counterparts, but share similar views on government goals
4. Extreme Republicans - Extremists to the right side publically attack their opponents with little to no credible information. They have their own goals and don't care about what anyone else has to say. Tea party members are a great example of this.
5. Independents - People who claim they are an independent are normally an extremist to one side or the other who don't want to be judged as an "X" wing nutjob.
We all have our faults, including myself, I classify myself into the moderate conservative class. I read as much as I can from both sides and make my decisions that way, and I am very public about what I decide. I also hate the tea party and rush limbaugh, as they give every other conservative a bad name
Republicans Versus Democrats
We live in a generation where there has never been a more defined
line between the Republican party and the Democratic party and their
respective followers. Families and friends are being torn apart, riots
are being performed in front of political buildings. Politicians are
doing huge demonstrations of power to try and stop legislation. I was
raised to be a mindless following democrat. When my mom found out that I
planned to vote republican after carefully reading and listening
intently to both sides and making my own decision based on what I
observed rather than what my job or my parents told me to decide, my mom
told me "ok, maybe you just shouldn't vote then". However in the rough
time that we are facing right now, democrats and republicans don't need
to be warring. we need to be working together to eliminate the
politicians who don't do their jobs and preserve the offices for those
who do. I consider myself to be a moderate republican. I'm not a right
wing extremist tea party asshole by any means. I can see validity in
the democratic party and some of their ideals. Unfortunately the
majority of examples of people who don't do their jobs are democrats,
considering that I live in wisconsin and I saw the legislators who went
on an illinois vacation rather than doing their jobs. I know that it is
on both sides around the country though, and it needs to stop.
Governor Scott Walker is very much doing his job. He was voted in to try and get our state's economy back around, and unfortunately that meant asking some of our union workers to make a contribution. To me it seems very fair. I work in an industry where 5 years ago a shop would easily take in an 18 year old kid who knew what a 5/8" wrench was, pay him 20 bucks an hour direct hire, give him a big tool allowance so he could finance his box and do his job better, train him, and make a mechanic out of him. Now the only people that are wanted have 20 years of experience, and are getting paid 15-18 an hour, through a temp firm first, then decided if they will get hired on by the company, and working with barely any insurance. The only way to really get a job anymore is to know someone in teh company. everyone else is making cut backs, so must the american union worker, and that comes from every union.
A final thought. This division in political parties is starting to cause a lot of violence. both sides need to make concessions before we are facing down another civil war. Personally to me, I don't think the American Labor Union is the answer to anything, but by no means is disbanding it an answer either. Let's stop the fighting, everyone get to work, and lets all work together to find a way to fix this country, so we can all go to work because we want to, because there are plenty of jobs available to us, and because our employers want us there and we don't need a contract to keep our jobs. Together, democrat, republican, union worker, skilled tradesman, restauranteer, grocer, baker, butcher, we can find a way to make this an america with plenty of money and plenty of happiness again
Governor Scott Walker is very much doing his job. He was voted in to try and get our state's economy back around, and unfortunately that meant asking some of our union workers to make a contribution. To me it seems very fair. I work in an industry where 5 years ago a shop would easily take in an 18 year old kid who knew what a 5/8" wrench was, pay him 20 bucks an hour direct hire, give him a big tool allowance so he could finance his box and do his job better, train him, and make a mechanic out of him. Now the only people that are wanted have 20 years of experience, and are getting paid 15-18 an hour, through a temp firm first, then decided if they will get hired on by the company, and working with barely any insurance. The only way to really get a job anymore is to know someone in teh company. everyone else is making cut backs, so must the american union worker, and that comes from every union.
A final thought. This division in political parties is starting to cause a lot of violence. both sides need to make concessions before we are facing down another civil war. Personally to me, I don't think the American Labor Union is the answer to anything, but by no means is disbanding it an answer either. Let's stop the fighting, everyone get to work, and lets all work together to find a way to fix this country, so we can all go to work because we want to, because there are plenty of jobs available to us, and because our employers want us there and we don't need a contract to keep our jobs. Together, democrat, republican, union worker, skilled tradesman, restauranteer, grocer, baker, butcher, we can find a way to make this an america with plenty of money and plenty of happiness again
Theories on Women: Volume One
The cheerleader effect (credit to how I met your mother, and the theory that got me thinking about the two to follow)
A group of women, when together, appears to be much much more attractive than the individual women are
The Home Town Hottie Conundrum
Commonly observed in small communities, this describes the situation where a more plain, average girl seems like a goddess simply because there is no one around to compare her to. this is normally observed when a young hometown boy goes off to college in a bigger city, and begins to see, if not more attractive, more exotic women, and returns home to f ind he can't look at the girls of his hometown the same way anymore. DO NOT BE FOOLED. There actually are some real knockouts that live in these small towns.
The Hot Bartender Theory
From what I've been told by female friends, this theory actually goes for both genders. This simply states that for whatever unexplainable reason (a friend and I tried to wrap our heads around this over several rounds of rum and scotch to no avail), People who are serving drinks in a bar appear much more attractive than they do normally. This affect amplifies no matter what, because I am friends with some girl bartenders who are real knockouts just normally, and once they start serving, are just....wow. I first noticed this when I saw a bartender who had just started at my regular watering hole one day, just in drinking, not serving, and didn't even recognize her. my best friend actually had to tell me who she was, then it hit me like a brick.
These are merely observations based on my life, and are not meant to offend anyone. It's just how I see the world
J. Edgar Davis
A group of women, when together, appears to be much much more attractive than the individual women are
The Home Town Hottie Conundrum
Commonly observed in small communities, this describes the situation where a more plain, average girl seems like a goddess simply because there is no one around to compare her to. this is normally observed when a young hometown boy goes off to college in a bigger city, and begins to see, if not more attractive, more exotic women, and returns home to f ind he can't look at the girls of his hometown the same way anymore. DO NOT BE FOOLED. There actually are some real knockouts that live in these small towns.
The Hot Bartender Theory
From what I've been told by female friends, this theory actually goes for both genders. This simply states that for whatever unexplainable reason (a friend and I tried to wrap our heads around this over several rounds of rum and scotch to no avail), People who are serving drinks in a bar appear much more attractive than they do normally. This affect amplifies no matter what, because I am friends with some girl bartenders who are real knockouts just normally, and once they start serving, are just....wow. I first noticed this when I saw a bartender who had just started at my regular watering hole one day, just in drinking, not serving, and didn't even recognize her. my best friend actually had to tell me who she was, then it hit me like a brick.
These are merely observations based on my life, and are not meant to offend anyone. It's just how I see the world
J. Edgar Davis
Welcome to Ed's Blog
Hi kids. I did this once before when myspace meant something, and
I've missed it, so now I'm gonna try it again, and stay regular with
it. no depressing thoughts, just my observations on women and dating and life in general.
feel free to subscribe. you may learn something
J. Edgar Davis
J. Edgar Davis
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