For Genevieve ~ My inspiration to make the most out of my life no matter what
Who's ever had a crush?? We all have. Who's ever had a role model?? I would hope that at least 99% of us have had one of those, too. Have you ever noticed how similar the two roles seem to be?? I saw it predominately in a celebrity crush of recent moments, and seeing that made me look back on a lot of my crushes from the past and I really started to notice a pattern. I will discuss the pattern and what I've seen, both in myself, and some people around me who I know have crushes on other people around me, along with why my most recent is so admirable, but before I do that, there are some definitions and discussions I need to get out of the way.
The first thing that there is to discuss is what a crush is and where it differs from an attraction. More specifically, a sexual attraction. The first thing I want to say about the topic is that CRUSHES ARE HARMLESS....that is, as long as you don't act on them if your crush is not available to you. Of two that come to mind who presently hold the title of my crush, one is both married and a sort of celebrity, and one is in the forbidden demographics I discussed waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the beginning of my blog. A Sunnyside bartender, in fact. I speak of both of them to make my point, but I would never ever dream of making a move on either, other than to thank them for the inspiration to make my own life better. What these women have that a woman who simply is a sexual desire does not have can be subtle. I see a crush as a person of the gender which you prefer who bears a trait that you desire in yourself, where a sexual attraction is based on just that....to put it even more primitively, traits that you would desire to see in your offspring. Crushes most often have traits of sexual desire, in fact most commonly do, but that person you simply lust after rarely has the traits of a crush. Often times, when you have a simple case of lust, you rarely know enough about the object of desire to see any traits that you would desire in yourself. And lust is rarely harmless. It is considered to be a deadly sin by the Christian community, and, if used in the wrong situations, drives apart trusts and relationships and marriages. I've definitely lusted after enough women and had enough crushes in my 17 years of sexual maturity to tell the difference.
As I discussed before, crushes have traits that we do desire to see in ourselves, and that's why we consciously and subconsciously seek out the bearers of these traits. Traits that seem to be apparent in my crushes and the crushes I've seen around me are fairly obvious. Success, freedom, financial stability, and physical fitness seem to be the most obvious and common, although I honestly feel as though the last one does border on lust and desire, given the dynamics of today's societal expectations that I discussed in "Projection versus type". One of the other big ones I've seen is attitude, and this is overwhelmingly more common when the feelings are going from a woman to a man. On the whole, women of the American society tend to be more socially driven to acceptance, and I've noticed on more than one occasion that when a man comes into their lives; or even just into a room; and he does whatever makes him happy and feel good and doesn't care what society thinks of it, the women just go nuts. To be fair, I have seen this go the other way, also, but less commonly. Even on a more practical level, I've seen crushes form on a person's ability to cook, fix a car, play music or sing (I think we all know how common that one is), gamble successfully or otherwise play games of chance, living on one's own rather than with parents (that's a big one recently with our economy), and on one occasion even on a man's ability to hold his liquor. All these were traits that the crusher did not possess his or herself, and on a lot of them, I myself was the crushee.
With all of these traits given out, there is one last note on differentiating between crush and lust, and that is the danger in mixing the two. Often, recently, I've been the victim of this practice, and I have fallen guilty once or twice myself. I try really hard not to do this when I know that I do not reciprocate the same feelings, but I am only a man and sometimes temptation does get the better of me. I try not to, because I know how much it hurts to be used when the object of your feelings doesn't reciprocate the same feelings, but uses your feelings to build herself up. This is one of the hardest pains to deal with, emotionally. I simply want to say, that if you don't feel the same way as a person who's crushing on you, let the other be.
Now, onto some of my crushes. Other than the woman who I dedicated this to, who I most likely will never ever meet face to face, no names will be given, obviously. My forbidden crush, here at my local bar....she got me to open up to her like I have never been able to before within minutes of meeting her for the first time. That is definitely something I wish I could do for myself. My first real, strong crush when I was in high school. The first time I talked to her was her congratulating me for standing up for my beliefs against every single person in our school all at once. Having been a bullied child, I got a very strong sense of empowerment from that event, and she had brown hair and blue eyes...I was hooked. Unfortunately I took the advice of her "friend" and continually asked her out even though I know now that I shouldn't have, and I ruined everything. I know now, 14 years later, that the second time her so-called friend told me to pursue her, I should have told her to go to hell. But, alas, that kept up for 3 years...some friend. Let's see, who else...Back when I lived in the Boston Metro Area, there was this girl I worked with at the Stop and Shop. She was a very free spirit, and could keep a smile for everyone, no matter what. This is a trait I did eventually learn, but it took me years more, and back then all I could do was wish I had it. And finally, the important one. Important because this still inspires me. Genevieve, the runner up from King of the Nerds who accepted second place much more graciously than I think I could have, if I had worked that hard for the entire season. I watched her overcome all odds. Every Nerd-off was stacked against her, and she prevailed every time. I'll admit, that it started as a desire, but I was soon reminded of how the odds of my life have been stacked against me for the last 6 years, and how I have managed to come this far without running back home to my parents. At the end of that competition, I was on the verge of giving up myself. I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel anywhere. A continuing fan-dom, led me to see how strong and positive this woman really is, and I saw, and recognized the trait that I wanted to see in myself. That was the push forward that I needed to force my life in the direction I wanted it, not to let it force me where it wanted me. That was when this young lady migrated from being a crush, to a role model. The deck is still stacked against me right now, but every chance I have to prep for something to come, I prep. Every day I push forward, even when I know I'm facing life's Kobayashi Maru, I don't believe in it, sometimes going as far as to "reprogram" the odds to my favor. Life has been my Nerd-Off the last few years. I have a goal (a restaurant of my own) in my sights, and a plan to get there from here. But I also know, that if that plan is impossible to work, I'll just be able to improvise to get there anyway. I learned from the best that even if you think you can't win something, just go ahead and win it anyway.
With that I leave you with this. Find those crushes, even if you can't be with them, use their lives to inspire your own to have those traits that you wish you could have. If you can't be with your crush, it's not in vain, because they can still be a role model.
J. Edgar
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Chef Ed's Food Corner
A little while ago I started another blog all about food, seeings as I am a student in Culinary School. If you come across this and like what you read about how I see the world, I hope you'll take some time and read how I see food. The link will be posted below. Keep reading, and be inspired to make the world a better place in your own way.
J. Edgar
Read Ed's Food Blog
J. Edgar
Read Ed's Food Blog
Monday, May 13, 2013
Things I would do if I won the Lottery
The Powerball is a thriving business right now. It seems like every other month there is a 200+ million dollar jackpot, which is the only time I play. One has to wonder, if you ever came into that kind of money, what would you do with it. The most common answer is early retirement, of course, but after doing a lot of thinking about the idea, I determined there are many better things a person could do with that kind of money. If i ever came up with those magical numbers, I would definitely take care of myself, my close friends, and my family, but there are things I would do also that would help take care of my locality and state, and hopefully I can even stretch my hand of good faith to the great United States as well. Here are the things I would do with 200 million dollars over the next few years of my life.
1. Call my lawyer - There are hundreds of pages of fine print that go along with coming into that kind of money. Even if you are super smart, having a lawyer is the best thing you can do, to understand what is going on. You have 200 million dollars now, you can afford it. A lawyer will also help to ensure that businessmen and politicians don't try to sweet talk you into investing or funding something that may lose you everything. You will be very popular once you have that money.
2. Pay my taxes - Large lottery winnings are taxed at a ball park amount of 51%. On a 200 million dollar jackpot (which is what we will be using for a reference for the remainder of the article), that will leave you with around 98 million dollars, which is not a bad number at all. You can do a lot with that much money still, and your state and federal government will very happy with you.
3. Open a savings account to live on - The rumor is that if you put 11 million dollars in a savings account, you can just live on the interest. On the national average, which is a paltry 0.21%, that brings you to $23,100, which is....livable. You do have to keep in mind you'd only have fuel and utilities and food to pay, with that kind of money you'd have everything paid off. However, if you're coming forward with 11 million dollars, I promise you that you will not be offered an average rate. That is not for high rollers by any means. The highest savings account interest rate in the country right now is at the Pioneer Muslim Federal Credit Union, and it's at 3.03%. With as many bank out there that are going to be fighting over you, I would like to believe that this will be a little closer to the interest rate that you are going to get paid. With a rate like that, you're looking closer at an interest income of around $333,300. THAT is a healthy income, and your taxes and all your bills will definitely be paid all the time. Plus, whatever you don't use will go back into your account and draw even more interest.
4. Buy a house - Just something modest. It will be on the beach, but on Lake Michigan's beach, not the Pacific Ocean. We gotta keep the taxes down. Nothing huge, I have no need for 12 bedrooms. A nice 3 bedroom in Carol Beach will make my point just fine. 15 grand in property tax every year, not a hard pill to swallow and still get to wake up on the lake. I would also plan on taking out a mortgage, but then just paying it off the next month...just to build credit.
5. Buy cars - who, among the people who know me, didn't know this was coming. A nice truck, but not brand new, so I can still work on it at home without having to go nuts on specialty tools. A couple nice projects, and maybe one nice newer car to drive around in the winter, like a Taurus SHO or something. Knowing myself, the projects would just cycle through...buy something, modify/restore it, drive it for a while, get bored with it, mark it up for the modifications and repairs I made to it, and sell it and buy something else. If i do it right, I can make some pretty good money off of this practice without too big of an investment. I'd probably have to register as a business though and pay taxes on it, which actually wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Another way to support my state and federal government, and a good way to even potentially generate some income that we can add to the savings account.
6. Pay off all debts, public and private - The biggest thing about winning a lot of money, is the fact that you get a chance to start over. I'd pay off my debts, my parents, and my best friend's.
7. Buy Trucks - This is the first step I would take to start making my money work for me. I'd take a trip down to Illinois and find my local M&K Dealership (to hell with the Krietes, if I won the lottery, they wouldn't get any of my money) and buy some tractors. 10 brand new Volvo VNL64Ts. Next I'd buy 10 brand new refrigerated 53 foot trailers, and put one on each tractor. The logical next step would be to hire 10 truck drivers, offer them a little more than the current going rate for mileage for company paid drivers, and lease them out to various companies around the area. A minimum of 3 would be leased to Birchwood, as I know that as badly as they pay their employees, their lease rate is very competitive. For the current time, I'd keep all 10 leased out, but this is not a permanent move
8. Build a garage - If you're gonna have trucks, you need a shop. I'm ok with Dealerships doing the first few services, but I'm eventually gonna need a shop to get employees to do the work for me. Best thing to do would be to get a couple acres on the interstate, build a building with 10 bays brand new, include two oil change pits, make sure all bays are drive through, and stock it with any specialty tool I can find. Next, hire some mechanics, and undercut every other truck stop's service rate by 20 bucks. I'd make sure to get some manufacturer certified guys, and start looking into at least one dealer license down the road, but for the most part, just leave it as is. Another good "down the road" would be to think about putting a convenience store and an overnight lot in. But that can wait a few years.
9. Invest in small business - Putting money into businesses is often a good idea, and doing it by small business keeps it local. It keeps income taxes, and earned dollars local, too. Some people have some good ideas, just don't have the capital to put them into action. In addition to putting yourself into a place to earn money off of your investment, thereby making your money work for you, you help to employ people in your community. When more people in the community are employed, they spend more money in the community. They also pay taxes to your municipality, as I mentioned earlier. The small businesses can (note I did not say "will") expand into larger businesses, and employ more people, and the cycle continues. This will eventually make your community a nicer place to be, as the increase in local revenue, and increase in sales in the area increase margins for local government. It really is a win-win, provided you choose investees who are responsible and will use your money wisely. One thing to keep in mind, if you are skeptical about the company, but you still want to chance it, buy 51% into it. That way, if they do start to run rampant with your money and be irresponsible, you have the chance and the right to come into it and take the reins if you need to.
10. Buy a restaurant - In spite of the fact that this is my intended career path, this was toward the end of the list for a reason. Before I go into my passion, I want to have enough of my money out there, working for me, and be sure it's working for me and earning money before I take a risk in myself. This also leaves me the opportunity to monitor my small business investments, and leaves me the time to take over the ones who are being irresponsible if I need to. I have my savings account earning me a living, and the house and the truck are paid for, so earning a steady paycheck isn't a great priority at first. Once all my businesses are earning me a healthy paycheck and on the right track, then I will pursue my dream.
11. Finally, set up 3 full scholarships - College can be tough to pay for. And there are some who are brilliant, but could use the financial help. I would love to make sure 3 kids a year, who are the brightest and most brilliant, but are in hard places, get an education. I'd do one for 4 year, one for tech school, and one for trade school. I'd also pay the way for my nephew, but that's just a given.
Just because you win a huge amount on lottery never means you have to retire. That's just what you always hear about. If you do it right, and know who you're dealing with, you can turn a hundred million into a hundred billion or more, so why not make the world better for everyone??
1. Call my lawyer - There are hundreds of pages of fine print that go along with coming into that kind of money. Even if you are super smart, having a lawyer is the best thing you can do, to understand what is going on. You have 200 million dollars now, you can afford it. A lawyer will also help to ensure that businessmen and politicians don't try to sweet talk you into investing or funding something that may lose you everything. You will be very popular once you have that money.
2. Pay my taxes - Large lottery winnings are taxed at a ball park amount of 51%. On a 200 million dollar jackpot (which is what we will be using for a reference for the remainder of the article), that will leave you with around 98 million dollars, which is not a bad number at all. You can do a lot with that much money still, and your state and federal government will very happy with you.
3. Open a savings account to live on - The rumor is that if you put 11 million dollars in a savings account, you can just live on the interest. On the national average, which is a paltry 0.21%, that brings you to $23,100, which is....livable. You do have to keep in mind you'd only have fuel and utilities and food to pay, with that kind of money you'd have everything paid off. However, if you're coming forward with 11 million dollars, I promise you that you will not be offered an average rate. That is not for high rollers by any means. The highest savings account interest rate in the country right now is at the Pioneer Muslim Federal Credit Union, and it's at 3.03%. With as many bank out there that are going to be fighting over you, I would like to believe that this will be a little closer to the interest rate that you are going to get paid. With a rate like that, you're looking closer at an interest income of around $333,300. THAT is a healthy income, and your taxes and all your bills will definitely be paid all the time. Plus, whatever you don't use will go back into your account and draw even more interest.
4. Buy a house - Just something modest. It will be on the beach, but on Lake Michigan's beach, not the Pacific Ocean. We gotta keep the taxes down. Nothing huge, I have no need for 12 bedrooms. A nice 3 bedroom in Carol Beach will make my point just fine. 15 grand in property tax every year, not a hard pill to swallow and still get to wake up on the lake. I would also plan on taking out a mortgage, but then just paying it off the next month...just to build credit.
5. Buy cars - who, among the people who know me, didn't know this was coming. A nice truck, but not brand new, so I can still work on it at home without having to go nuts on specialty tools. A couple nice projects, and maybe one nice newer car to drive around in the winter, like a Taurus SHO or something. Knowing myself, the projects would just cycle through...buy something, modify/restore it, drive it for a while, get bored with it, mark it up for the modifications and repairs I made to it, and sell it and buy something else. If i do it right, I can make some pretty good money off of this practice without too big of an investment. I'd probably have to register as a business though and pay taxes on it, which actually wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Another way to support my state and federal government, and a good way to even potentially generate some income that we can add to the savings account.
6. Pay off all debts, public and private - The biggest thing about winning a lot of money, is the fact that you get a chance to start over. I'd pay off my debts, my parents, and my best friend's.
7. Buy Trucks - This is the first step I would take to start making my money work for me. I'd take a trip down to Illinois and find my local M&K Dealership (to hell with the Krietes, if I won the lottery, they wouldn't get any of my money) and buy some tractors. 10 brand new Volvo VNL64Ts. Next I'd buy 10 brand new refrigerated 53 foot trailers, and put one on each tractor. The logical next step would be to hire 10 truck drivers, offer them a little more than the current going rate for mileage for company paid drivers, and lease them out to various companies around the area. A minimum of 3 would be leased to Birchwood, as I know that as badly as they pay their employees, their lease rate is very competitive. For the current time, I'd keep all 10 leased out, but this is not a permanent move
8. Build a garage - If you're gonna have trucks, you need a shop. I'm ok with Dealerships doing the first few services, but I'm eventually gonna need a shop to get employees to do the work for me. Best thing to do would be to get a couple acres on the interstate, build a building with 10 bays brand new, include two oil change pits, make sure all bays are drive through, and stock it with any specialty tool I can find. Next, hire some mechanics, and undercut every other truck stop's service rate by 20 bucks. I'd make sure to get some manufacturer certified guys, and start looking into at least one dealer license down the road, but for the most part, just leave it as is. Another good "down the road" would be to think about putting a convenience store and an overnight lot in. But that can wait a few years.
9. Invest in small business - Putting money into businesses is often a good idea, and doing it by small business keeps it local. It keeps income taxes, and earned dollars local, too. Some people have some good ideas, just don't have the capital to put them into action. In addition to putting yourself into a place to earn money off of your investment, thereby making your money work for you, you help to employ people in your community. When more people in the community are employed, they spend more money in the community. They also pay taxes to your municipality, as I mentioned earlier. The small businesses can (note I did not say "will") expand into larger businesses, and employ more people, and the cycle continues. This will eventually make your community a nicer place to be, as the increase in local revenue, and increase in sales in the area increase margins for local government. It really is a win-win, provided you choose investees who are responsible and will use your money wisely. One thing to keep in mind, if you are skeptical about the company, but you still want to chance it, buy 51% into it. That way, if they do start to run rampant with your money and be irresponsible, you have the chance and the right to come into it and take the reins if you need to.
10. Buy a restaurant - In spite of the fact that this is my intended career path, this was toward the end of the list for a reason. Before I go into my passion, I want to have enough of my money out there, working for me, and be sure it's working for me and earning money before I take a risk in myself. This also leaves me the opportunity to monitor my small business investments, and leaves me the time to take over the ones who are being irresponsible if I need to. I have my savings account earning me a living, and the house and the truck are paid for, so earning a steady paycheck isn't a great priority at first. Once all my businesses are earning me a healthy paycheck and on the right track, then I will pursue my dream.
11. Finally, set up 3 full scholarships - College can be tough to pay for. And there are some who are brilliant, but could use the financial help. I would love to make sure 3 kids a year, who are the brightest and most brilliant, but are in hard places, get an education. I'd do one for 4 year, one for tech school, and one for trade school. I'd also pay the way for my nephew, but that's just a given.
Just because you win a huge amount on lottery never means you have to retire. That's just what you always hear about. If you do it right, and know who you're dealing with, you can turn a hundred million into a hundred billion or more, so why not make the world better for everyone??
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